


Judge Not

by ImperfectSnow



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, SakuGen, SasuSaku - Freeform, kakasaku - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2013-09-24
Packaged: 2017-12-27 13:35:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 40,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/979541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperfectSnow/pseuds/ImperfectSnow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sakura finds herself married to Sasuke, but what happens when she makes a decision that will change everything? One doesn't cheat on the person they love. Right? Adultery is a dark world and Sakura finds that she fits into it a little too well. (End couple is not yet revelead - SasuSaku & SakuGen) Rated M for VERY adult content. Character death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Never Forget

**Judge Not**

XXX

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Naruto or any of its characters and make no profit from this fanfic.

A/N: This is rated M for a reason, so please, no children allowed and no sensitive readers The site seems to mess up the format a bit, so if there aren't any breaks between sections, I'm really sorry. This is unbeta-ed so please excuse any grammatical errors. (Longer A/N at the end)

XXX

**Chapter 1: Never Forget**

XXX

He made love to her slowly. Always slowly. He'd build up a fire and increase the intensity, and just when she thought she might die from the tension and the passion, he'd throw her over the edge and she'd ride it out with a burning fury. It was a dance of sorts, a smouldering, fiery dance that doubled as an art form.

After each bout of fire he'd kiss her softly and tell her one thing and one thing only; "It's just you and me in this world, blossom. Never forget that."

And, God help her, she never forgot.

XXX

"Sasuke! Breakfast! Wake up!" the kunoichi called from the over-sized kitchen of the over-sized main house in the Uchiha compound. She flipped the egg onto a red plate just as two pieces of toast popped out of the toaster. Once she was seated with two plates of food presented neatly on the table and a steaming cup of coffee in her hands a very dishevelled and shirtless Uchiha rambled into the kitchen and grumbled his way to the seat in front of him.

"Good morning, Sunshine" Sakura chanted from her side of the table after stuffing a forkful of egg into her mouth. She smiled lecherously at him and eyed his messy hair. The Uchiha took pride in his deep blue locks and so seeing him looking so unkempt made her want to take a picture and sell it to the highest bidder, she settled for a small giggle instead. Sasuke eyed her dangerously before taking a sip of the coffee in front of him.

"Hn." He replied to her merry welcome. To say that Sasuke wasn't a morning person would be a spectacular understatement; he made psychopathic murderers look cheerful. The pair fell into a comfortable silence, as was normal with Sasuke. If you enjoyed conversing with brick walls, Sasuke was your man.

"So, I'm heading down to the training field today, I'm thinking of getting some sparring time in with Kakashi. Although it's doubtful that he'll be there on time. I think it's time I swing by the market; the cupboards are looking a bit ominous, so maybe I'll do that before going to the training field. Tsunade wants me to go help out at the hospital as well, so my day is looking pretty busy." Sakura waffled on happily, basically talking to herself, while Sasuke gracefully sliced his meal into equal parts and proceeded to eat it, just as gracefully.

"Hn." Yet again. Brick wall syndrome.

"Ok, well. I'm going to shower. Would you wash up?" she stood up with her plate in her hands, waiting for a reply. Wait for it...

"Hn." There it is.

Sakura sighed as she placed her plate in the sink. For some odd reason she'd landed up married to a man that barely spoke and yet she managed to have conversations with him that required no voice. She twirled her wedding ring around her finger absent-mindedly. Opening the bathroom door she headed to the sink and brushed her teeth, and then observed herself briefly in the mirror before stripping off her clothes and heading into the shower. The hot water flattened her hair and tickled her body in streams that left her humming contentedly.

Sakura closed her eyes and turned her face up into the spray of water. Just then, warm hands encased themselves around her hips and pulled her backwards into a toned body. She sighed at the feeling of her husband against her bare back. Resting her head against his shoulder she turned her gaze side ways to look at him, only to find him facing the spray of water with his eyes tightly shut. She reached up on her toes and kissed the side of his jaw. She took in the taste of him mixed with pure water, and relished in it. Slowly, he turned his head into her lips until finally the two met in an unhurried but burning kiss.

Sakura turned her body into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. How he'd managed to get naked and sneak into the shower without her noticing was beyond her, but with his firmly muscled body pressed up against hers, she was finding it difficult to care. The Uchiha pressed his wife up against the shower wall and she hissed as the cold tiles made contact with her heated skin. He hoisted her up his body, her legs wrapped around his waist and her back pressed firmly against the wall. He kissed her deeply, delving into her mouth, inadvertently telling her everything she needed to know and so much more.

Steam filled the bathroom, droplets of vapour rolled down every surface and the windows and glass of the shower doors misted up until only two rhythmically moving figures could be seen. Through the slight breaks in the mist, one could see a sinewy man, with dark hair sticking to his face, kissing a pink-haired woman's neck and thrusting steadily into her body as she sunk her fingers into his hair and lifted her face to the heavens. Her cherry blossom lips parted soundlessly as she clenched her legs tighter and let out a breathy and ragged moan that thundered through her entire body and to her core. After that, one could see the dark-haired man speeding his motions and gripping her hips tighter in an effort not to lose control; his efforts would prove futile however, as after a few more frantic thrusts, the man could be seen biting into the woman's neck and wrapping his arms around her waist as he fell into oblivion.

Warm water streamed down their bodies, steam rising subtly from their skin. Sakura panted lightly while Sasuke let her down from the wall. Instead of letting her go, he simply rested his head on her shoulder and breathed steadily. His hands rested lightly on her hips and she lifted her arms to loop them at the base of his neck, playing lightly with the hair intertwined with her fingers.

"It's just you and me in this world, blossom. Never forget that." His first actual sentence of the day and it sent shivers down her spine. She hugged him closer and breathed in his scent; pine and soap. That was Sasuke. The two shared a brief but passion-filled kiss and then released each other.

The shower's purpose was finally fulfilled after spending the first twenty minutes doing everything but getting cleaner. Sakura found it amusing how he could walk into the kitchen like the living dead and then all of a sudden have enough energy to ravish her in the shower. Her husband would forever be a mystery to her.

XXX

"Come on, old man! Bring it" the kunoichi yelled in the general direction of her former sensei. Kakashi had taken to the trees after Sakura had sent a shock wave of power through the ground, completely obliterating the ground he had previously vacated. Sakura knew he was going easy on her and quite frankly it irritated her. She wanted him to take her seriously. It wasn't as if she was weak, in fact over the years of training with Tsunade, she'd become viciously strong and her chakra control rivalled even the hokage's. In truth, she used her training sessions with Kakashi to vent her frustrations, be it with work or with her friends; she just took it all out on Kakashi.

Suddenly, there was a kunai flying towards he and she scoffed at its direct approach.

"A kunai? Really? Isn't that a bit... I don't know... academy-ish?" she spoke dryly. Kakashi appeared on the other side of the grounds, a sheepish grin planted behind his mask and an orange book perched in his hand.

"YOU WERE READING?" Sakura almost lifted off out of pure rage, but managed to stay grounded as she stomped her way over to Kakashi. The copy-nin bowed his head almost shamefully as she reached him and promptly bopped him on the head. He winced at the blow, but chose not to retaliate.

"I'm sorry... I just wanted to get some reading in before we left for our mission tomorrow. Apparently, Tsunade has forbidden me from taking my books with me... something about 'disgusting' and 'distraction'" he looked dejected as he placed the book back in its pouch. Sakura was very close to feeling sorry for him, instead she resorted to placing her hand on the back of his head almost lovingly and messing up his carefully calculated 'do'. He crinkled his eye at her and she released her hand and prompted for him to follow her as she walked to the training ground's entrance.

"Lunch?" she asked absent-mindedly. He nodded and followed after her.

Kakashi was her best friend, her pillar in times of trouble, her shoulder to cry on, her rock, for all intents and purposes.

It was a deep-seated connection, the most profound love that neither shinobi fuelled nor quelled.

XXX

"What do you want from me?" his voice was louder than usual, irritation and anger tainting it and making it sting. "You're never happy!"

Sakura felt like punching something, he never understood her, he could understand complex strategy plans and even her medical scrolls, but he could never understand _her_.

" _I'm_ never happy?" the words seethed from her mouth, bubbling and hissing from her lips "Ha! How could I be _happy_ when I'm married to the most miserable man in the whole world?" she narrowed her eyes dangerously, picking up a glass from the kitchen table and measuring its weight in her hand. Her anger rose to epic proportions as she decided that if she had to look at him any longer she would wretch up her breakfast. "Actually! You know what I want? I want you to leave me alone!" her shrill tone carried through their house. As big as the main house was, her voice still managed to fill every space, room and shadow without delay. Anger seemed to ripple off her body as she clenched her fists and gritted her teeth.

His eyes widened in disbelief and then narrowed dangerously. "You want me to leave you alone? Fine. You're about to get your wish. You're going to be all alone, with nothing but your thoughts." His voice held hints of a threat. The enraged Cherry Blossom knew that his words were true, she would be consumed by thoughts as soon as he walked out of the door, she could already feel them pushing at her temples, waiting to burst forth. The Uchiha, who seemed uncharacteristically riled up, swivelled gracefully on his heel and headed out the front door.

Sakura wasn't sure how long she'd sat at the kitchen table, mulling over her fight with Sasuke, but the next thing she knew the front door opened, Sasuke headed straight for their bedroom and then he walked out with a bag, his ANBU gear firmly in place. He spared her no glance as he walked out of the house.

She couldn't really remember what had started the fight, but she did know that it had been happening a lot lately. Like any married couple they had started out happy, more than happy, she was absolutely elated most of the time, she dreaded long missions and she couldn't wait to get home at the end of a long day. They had their minor squabbles but they always made up; with shiny new weapons, sex and -more often than not- shiny weapons _and_ sex, but not particularly in that order. After a while, she stopped dreading long missions, worked longer hours at the hospital, went straight to bed when she got home and spent more and more time at the bar with her friends on her days off. She loved to train; she'd train every day of the week, with the exception of mission days, with Kakashi and sometimes Naruto - when he wasn't with Hinata.

Somehow, they saw less and less of each other, occasionally they'd both end up home one Saturday night and she'd convince herself that what they were doing was making love, but it was robotic and over quickly, not the way it used to be. He used to make love to her slowly.

She wasn't sure whose fault it was, but she had a sneaking suspicion that the guilt was shared. Then again, maybe neither of them was to blame, and it was just the way things went. Now they were fighting and he had probably taken a really long mission; to clear his head and get away from her. She was supposed to feel scared and panicked that he'd left while they were on bad terms, but she was so exhausted and tired of fighting that she couldn't bring herself to care anymore. It just wasn't worth it.

XXX

A couple hours since the fight and Sakura found herself still firmly seated in her self-claimed booth at the local bar. Two empty decanters - that once held sake – sat in front of her, smirking at her like old friends.

"What are you l-looking at?" she slurred at the containers, a drunken hiccup falling between her words. A moment of rage forced its way through her drunken stupor and she flung her arm out, effectively smashing the bottles to the ground. She huffed and stared at the space vacated by the bottles.

"Another! Bring me another!" she yelled in the direction of the bartender. A waitress made her way over to Sakura, a fresh decanter balancing on her tray. Just as she was about to place the bottle on the table, a gloved hand reached out and grasped it firmly. The waitress gasped and released her grip on the bottle.

"Thank you." A calm voice said, and the plastered kunoichi imagined the slight eye-crease that would have followed those words. The waitress bowed slightly and trotted back to the long wooden bar that stretched the length of the room, and in no time at all she returned to sweep up the mess of glass and liquid on the floor. The busty blond huffed a little before scooping up all the glass into a duster tray and walking off.

Sakura didn't bother to look up as her best friend took his place across from her in the booth. The Copy-nin grabbed the small glass from in front of his slouching friend and poured himself some of the warm sake that he had acquired. Sakura grumbled and tried to grab at the bottle in front of him; he moved the bottle from her clasp effortlessly and continued to drink his sake.

"Yo." He said in his signature greeting. Sakura glanced up at him briefly, looked at the sticky table stretched out between them and then sighed. She couldn't bring herself to look at him, she felt ashamed that she found herself in the same booth every time she and Sasuke had a fight.

"Another fight, eh?" he asked nonchalantly as he placed one of his arms on the top of the seat and settled into a more relaxed position. The cherry blossom merely nodded and then flung her body back in the booth, slumping down like a withered plant, devoid of water and sunlight. She stared at him from beneath her dishevelled pink locks, her usually bright green eyes glazed over from alcohol and general distress.

Kakashi sighed and took another swig of sake, still making sure to keep the alcohol out of his friends reach.

"What was it about this time?" he asked, his cool voice never betraying any sense of urgency, but holding just the right amount of concern to show his interest. It was a recurring thing nowadays for Sakura to be sitting in this booth, drinking her worries away and huffing like a steam train. When he'd seen Sasuke rushing out of the ANBU headquarters a few hours earlier, with a certain twitch beneath his eye and a deeper-than-usual scowl adorning his face, he knew he'd find the reason for that brooding appearance sitting in the bar.

"Ah, I don't even remember. All our fights have the same base issue" she hiccupped again, her words melting together "we just manage to pile all our other shit on top of it." She sighed, leaning forward slightly, trying for the bottle, again, and turning up empty, again.

"Hm." Kakashi made a noise of non-commitment and gestured for her to continue while pouring another glass of sake, the effects of the drink warming his ears and stomach and making his body hum happily.

Sakura huffed again, that noise coming from her ex-sensei sounding so similar to her husband's but so different at the same time. While Sasuke's grunt had become cold and uninterested (just as it was when they were kids), Kakashi still managed to put a hint of humanity into it that made her feel like he was actually listening. In the recesses of her mind, she knew that this fight was worse than the others; she knew that if they didn't patch things up then the end of her marriage would sound and the death rattle would be slow. It's always slow with _him._

"I mean, it could be about anything. I could ask him something and he'd ignored me so I'd start screaming and cursing and he'd just sit there!" she flapped her arms about, gesticulating to demonstrate her frustration. She reached for the bottle again, just out of reach "Dammit Kakashi! Give me that damn bottle!" she almost shrieked but found she lacked willpower as he just shook his head slightly, placing the bottle next to him in the booth like a drowsy friend leaning on him for comfort. Sakura sighed, for the hundredth time that evening, and slouched forward on the table, her head in her hands.

"Anyway, it all comes down to one thing, he doesn't understand me. I loved him… uh… love him, exactly for who _he_ is and I tried my hardest to understand the motives behind his actions, but now…" she ruffled her hair and made an exclamation as she sat up straight, indignation bristling through her body.

"Now?" Kakashi prodded her to continue, a frown marring his face as he watched the pink-haired woman struggling with her thoughts. He hated what the fights with Sasuke did to her; they turned her cheerful, playful demeanour into one of confusion and drunken binges. He waited, watching the thoughts forming behind her eyes, scrolling like a slot machine until finally it settled on the jackpot.

"Now I'm just realising that he's never made an effort to understand who _I_ am. I'm his wife, the woman who cooks for him, _fucks_ him whenever he wants it-" the silver-haired man waved his hand in a circular motion to indicate that he wanted her to skip past the sordid details "and then he never asks me what _I_ want! He just never stops to ask… just once, I want him to ask me what I want…" she stabbed at her chest with two fingers, her eyes wide with conviction and then unexpectedly her resolve seemed to fade as she voiced the thoughts that had been plaguing her for weeks. In all her drinking sessions, in which Kakashi would inevitably find her and listen to her waffling for hours, she never once told him her main concern. Sakura laid her head on her arms atop the gluey surface of the table, when a bottle slid quietly in front of her.

"Don't be sad" the bottle moved from side to side while Kakashi altered the pitch of his voice, personifying the bottle and giving it an overly-cheerful voice that didn't match the situation "I'm here to help! You can always rely on me! I'll never let you down… as long as you don't drink too much of me, then I might…" the bottle's high-pitched voice suddenly became ominous as Kakashi's attempt at cheering up the sullen kunoichi took an abruptly dark turn as both shinobi suddenly thought of all the bad things that had happened to them as a result of excessive alcohol intake. Kakashi coughed, trying to dispel the awkwardness that had drifted onto the table like a bad smell.

Sakura glared at the bottle, still deep in thought, with visions of her and Kiba running through the village buck-naked and howling at the moon like deranged puppies. Then all of a sudden her face split open with a smile, showing sparkling teeth, and then she was leaning back in the booth, gripping her stomach and laughing heartily. She wiped a tear from her eye after several minutes and then puffed out a contented breath, all the while Kakashi watched her with a creased eye and small chuckles falling from his lips. Her boisterous laughter had turned a few heads in the bar, the usual patrons so unaccustomed to laughter from that dark corner of the room.

"Ahaha… ow, my stomach! Geez _Snowflake_ , I never thought I would see the day when you had to resort to making bottles talk to make me smile! Aha!" Sakura used the nickname reserved for special occasions of friendly banter and saw that he was smiling softly but trying to scowl at her from beneath his mask. He was failing miserably and finally gave up and let out a chuckle and a wider smile, shaking his head at her. He dragged a hand through his rustled hair and then rested his elbow on the table, his chin in his hand.

"Yeah well, _Cherry Pie_ , I had to do something to stop staring at that duck-face of yours." Kakashi taunted her, falling into the steady pulse of friendly teasing. Sakura looked up at him, tilting her head in slight confusion, amusement and a little annoyance.

" _Cherry Pie_? Really Kakashi? Really?" she lifted a pink eyebrow at him, crossing her lean arms over her chest; assuming the position of an un-amused child.

"Not good enough?" he queried, mock-disbelief filling his features.

"Not even close"

"Damn." He hit his fist on the table lightly in a show of disappointment, an audible huff exiting his clothed mouth. Sakura continued to stare at him, amusement glinting in her emerald eyes, which were clearer now that she had been forbidden to touch the sake bottle, which sat forgotten in-between them.

"You'll have to keep trying Snowflake, maybe one of these days you'll come up with something." She brought a hand in front of her, pretending to be examining her nails, when she heard her friend shift slightly in the opposite seat. She glanced up to see Kakashi looking at the entrance to the bar, where Genma, Anko, Gai and Kurenai were filing in, looking like they needed a few drinks if they were ever going to laugh again.

Genma sauntered over ahead of the group, a typical smile gracing his lips, although it lacked its usual splendour. He eased his way into the seat next to Sakura, moving her over slightly with a gentle nudge. She complied and slipped a hand around his waste in a casual gesture. He turned his head towards her, a toothpick replacing his customary senbon, and smiled lopsidedly.

"Hey there, Sakura." He said lazily and seemed to melt into her embrace "Kakashi" he said and tipped his head in greeting. The womanizing shinobi and the cherry blossom had developed a comfortable friendship over time, in part due to her closeness with Kakashi and in part due to their shared Jounin status (which made them equals). Even though he took every opportunity he got to try and persuade her to indulge in a night of adultery with him, his advances were never serious and they often found themselves flirting harmlessly and shamelessly as the alcohol surged more generously. Tonight was no different as the rest of the group joined them and conversation eased its way around them like a free-flowing breeze. The stress-free setting did wonders to the tired faces of the older shinobi, until eventually they were rejuvenated and lively, laughing about the weird situations they had found themselves in since the last gathering.

Just as Anko was telling a very detailed recount of Gai's unfortunate encounter with a transvestite on their latest mission to Cloud, Sakura excused herself to the ladies' room. She unwound herself from Genma, lifting her legs from his lap and pulling herself away from the soothing circles he had been rubbing into her knee for the last hour. No one thought their closeness was strange, the seductive senbon-sucker was known to be handsy (drunk or not) and Sakura was notoriously _friendly_ when she had been plied with alcohol. Genma huffed at the loss of contact but allowed her to exit the booth; she smiled at him hazily and rubbed a hand through his hair.

"Don't worry, I'll be back" and with that she winked at him and proceeded to the hallway a few meters from their booth, she swayed her hips exaggeratedly and looked over her shoulder to see Genma examining her assets appreciatively. She threw her head back slightly and laughed, it rang back to the orally-fixated man and he whistled at her in response. The rest of the group joined in on her laughter, feelings of joviality running through all of them, except Kakashi, who sat with his book in his hand and his arm still slung lazily over the back of the leather seat. He glanced up at Genma only once and then turned his dark eye back to the inky erotica that was playing out on the page.

Sakura knew she shouldn't be flirting with him, but cuddling up to a warm body and having a man (who made it his goal in life to please women) focus his attentions on her made her feel sexy again. She all of a sudden felt like she didn't trudge around in her uncomfortable medic uniform - complete with ugly nurse's shoes - all day, and she most definitely didn't feel like she came home to a cold house and an even colder husband every night of the week.

What was a little, _harmless_ , flirting anyway? It didn't change anything, and she deserved to feel like a woman again, and a _sexy_ one at that. She didn't even try to deny, in her drunken state, that the way Genma looked at her after a few drinks made her blood burn with a forbidden longing, it made the area between her thighs ache for the promise in those eyes to come to fruition and most of all, it made her wonder what she was missing beneath that smirk that told her that she would be more than satisfied if she just gave in to him.

Shaking her head in an attempt to rid herself of such unsavoury thoughts, she pushed open the door to the ladies' room and stood in front of the mirror. She was wearing denim shorts that hugged her bottom enticingly, and allowed for her long legs to attract just the right amount of attention, as wells as a loose gray T-shirt that was cinched slightly below her breasts to allow for a comfortable, but lady-like, fit. She tugged at her pink locks; they had been ruffled a bit as she had been sitting in the bar for quite a while, but overall she looked presentable. She looked into the reflection of her green eyes and she saw the lust and intoxication mirrored there. She smiled slightly, more of a smirk, and a switch seemed to click in her head, making her mind up.

The kunoichi exited the bathroom after a bit and made her way down the hallway, teetering a bit in her inebriation. She continued on to the booth that her friends were sitting at and saw that they were missing a member but had gained another in his place. She touched Raidou's shoulder lightly in greeting, and he raised his head in a nod, and then she made her way around the booth before finally voicing her question.

"Where's… Kakashi?" it took her a moment to put the name to the face inside her head, and a few people looked up at her as she spoke. She proceeded to climb over Genma, a little too close than was appropriate, and waited for an answer.

"He said he had a mission in the morning, so he wanted to get home and sleep" Kurenai said pleasantly as she picked up her glass of red wine, always the lady in the group.

"Cheapskate didn't even pay for his drinks" Anko piped up from her position next to Gai, a hand running through the hair at the base of his neck. The mesh-clad kunoichi smiled darkly and with no hint of humour.

"S'ok, I'll get his tab this time… I owe him… _anyway_!" Sakura's words were coming out in a plethora of tones and speeds now, and she put an arm around Genma's neck, running her hand through his hair lightly - mirroring the tactless kunoichi across from her – earning a shiver from the man. He smiled at her and she looked at him through low-lidded eyes, conveying what the small part left of her conscience was pleading with her to keep to herself.

_I want you._

XXX

Genma stood in only his dark pants in the middle of his bedroom, his hand tangled in pink hair and his lips plundering a pink mouth. The sounds of desperately swallowed moans filled the room as his tongue dominated hers. He reached for the hem of Sakura's gray shirt; she lifted her arms, aiding him in the removal of the item, and he drank in the sight of her in her shorts and black bra.

She had discarded his multi-pocketed Jounin vest at the door, his shirt in the lounge, his hitai-ate in the hallway and she felt pleased with her handiwork as she took in the sight of the well-muscled man standing before her, looking at her hungrily like a starving traveller that had stumbled upon a juicy steak. With a move so swift it made her catch her breath, he had scooped her up and dropped her on the bed. She lay sprawled on the covers, her roseate hair fanning around her face and her cheeks flushed with lust and excitement. Her green eyes sparkled in the moonlight filtering in through the uncovered window; they spoke of desire and a reckless need that was echoed in the eyes of the man gazing down at her.

"Genma…" she almost pleaded as he moved over her, his torso rubbing against her naked abdomen. A silent look passed between them as he moved closer, the friction between them almost palpable in the room that was silent save for their shallow breaths. He moved his face closer, their noses touching and her eyes slipped closed as she felt his lips suspended above hers, almost touching. He groaned and his breath fanned over cheeks and lips, she opened her cherry blossom mouth and could taste the alcohol mingling with her own exhale. Suddenly his lips were on hers, attacking her mouth, a gnash of teeth and tongues. She responded to him feverishly, gripping his shoulders and then running her hands into his hair, pulling and scraping her nails over his scalp. He moaned into the kiss and Sakura felt the vibration reverberate down her throat.

Then he was everywhere, burning hot kisses down her collar bone, over her chest and over a lace-covered breast, nipping and sucking at the soft mound and feeling a hardened peak under his tongue. She gripped his hair, begging him to take more of her into his mouth, arching her back and sucking in laboured breaths. She groaned at the loss of his mouth on her flushed skin, but then moaned when she felt his open-mouthed kisses trailing down her firm stomach, his tongue darting out and saturating her heated skin with his alcohol-saliva. He reached the top of her shorts, the button already undone from their frenzied entrance into his apartment, and traced wet kisses along the edge of her black lace panties that peeked out from the open button. With almost no more restraint left in his inebriated mind, he pulled the zipper down and yanked her shorts down along with her panties, taking in the sight of the soft curls between her legs.

There was a sharp intake of breath as she felt the cool night air sweep over her exposed area and then a flush graced her whole body as she looked down and saw him looking at her with intense brown eyes that seemed to go on forever. With an impassioned growl he jerked up onto his knees and pulled down his pants, the last item of clothing that restricted her view of his naked form. In a bit of a struggle he finally threw the pants onto the wooden floor and Sakura heard a light _thump_ as they met the panels below. Her mind barely registered the noise, however, as kneeling before her was an exquisite specimen of the male anatomy, standing in all its glory.

She rubbed her thighs together in an attempt to quell the ache, but before she could receive any satisfaction from the motion he was on her, his mouth on hers and his manhood prodding between her legs. With no cloth to limit the friction, Sakura moaned loudly and pushed her hips up into him. His teeth grabbed at the lace of her bra, and she arched her back from the sensation. The orally-fixated shinobi halted his ministrations and sat on his haunches in-between her knees. She looked up at him, confusion mixed in with the desire on her face, and then he grabbed her hip and her waist; pitching her upwards and onto his lap. As the contact between her heated centre and his hardened manhood was made, she moaned loudly. He rocked her hips over him and she begged him to enter her, but he held off on her request and satisfied himself with rubbing her centre over him, _over_ and _over_ , until she thought she might go crazy from over-stimulation.

His sharp ninja dexterity allowed him to remove the last piece of clothing covering her bosom and place one hand on her hip and the other on her breast, the peak rubbing his palm. She gripped his firm shoulders, moaning repetitiously, and continued the pace between them, until finally - _finally_ – he was inside her, swiftly and without warning. She cried out, her feminine scream bouncing through the house, and he growled at the sound. How long he had wanted her, how long he had tried to pass it off as a joke (and most times it was) but as they say: none the truer word said in jest. He relished in the feeling of her inner walls, basked in the sound of her wanton moans and the heady scent that their bodies produced. The position they were in would be taxing on a normal person's stamina, but being shinobi, it only fuelled their desire. They both felt the power that rested in the other and it made their bodies growl and purr. The alcohol in their systems seemed to have no affect on their endurance, and Sakura rode Genma as if she had all the energy in the world, and in that moment, she felt she did. They moved with each other, a steady beat developing between them, as if their bodies were one, and in one place in particular this statement rang true.

The kunoichi could felt him inside her, his body rolling with hers and touching places that made her mind melt in waves of pleasure, wave after wave hit her, small at first and then growing in intensity. Her walls rippled around him and he struggled to maintain his pace, feeling that he might just go insane and ram into her fiercely. Then he leaned back slightly on his haunches, sending her into a straighter position and his member slid deeper into her. She cried out in bliss and surprise, curling forward and digging her nails into his shoulders, leaving crescent shapes in his sun-kissed skin.

Genma watched as the rosy kunoichi bouncing up and down on his shaft began to unravel, her breasts bouncing with the rhythmic motions. Then finally, with a particularly angled and driven thrust, she shattered. Her eyes squeezed closed, her hand darted into his hair, almost ripping his scalp and the crescent-shaped marks on his shoulder gave way to blood-moons. Her scream filled his ears, his mind and his apartment; effectively replacing the desperate moans that had previously filled the space.

White light blazed behind her eyelids and she screamed his name, over and over. He kept thrusting into her heat, her walls clamping down on him solidly and trying to milk him for all he was worth. Frantically, he held onto her until he joined her in oblivion, grunting out his release and his pounding becoming erratic. Her body responded deliciously as it sucked him dry, feminine walls seeming to wrap around him like a second skin. His breath came out in short pants once he was spent, feeling her body go limp beneath his fingers.

He extracted himself from her core and placed her down on the white covers, her body glistening from sweat and the evidence of their actions. His thighs burned slightly as he crawled next to her, and he knew he would feel the stiffness in his muscles the next day. As he lay beside her sleek frame, her eyes heavy-lidded and shallow breaths falling from her kiss-bruised lips, she turned to look at him. A contented smile lifted her petal lips and she reached a trembling hand up to his jaw, tracing the slight stubble there until she reached his chin, her finger then running along his equally-bruised bottom lip. He smiled as he moved closer to her, pulling her back into his chest as she rolled over. His fingers traced the curve of her hip, the dip of her waist and finally rested just below her breasts, feeling the soft curves of them against his hand. She sighed blissfully as her hand rested with his, their fingers entwined and his cheek in the dip of her neck. He sucked a breath and smelled the familiar scent of the bar – smoke and alcohol – as well as the faint tinge of vanilla mixed with sex.

The light breeze crawling through barely-open window chilled their bodies, sending goosebumps over Sakura's rose-tinted skin. She sighed into the coolness, soaking in the contrast of her heated body and the cool wind. Genma nestled closer to her, fully intent on melting into her skin and she delighted in the feeling. The warmth between them was calming and Sakura felt her inhibitions slip away and sleep make an entrance, with the soft breaths of her good friend Genma warming her neck.

The only thought that crossed her mind before she slipped into the paradise known as sleep were two words:

_Thank you._

XXX

A/N:

(This is long but kinda, sorta, REALLY IMPORTANT)

Wow! That was long *wipes forehead. Sorry about the length (to those of you who don't enjoy long chapters).

I hope the 'lemon' wasn't too gaudy or irritating or e-l-o-n-g-a-t-e-d. I'm really not used to writing sexual scenes; I mean a lime here and there, sure, but full on sex scenes. Nope. Nada. Nothing. So I'm hoping against hope that it was ok.

As for the actual story, I hope you guys (you're all girls, let's be honest) like it. I found part of it sitting in one of my files and decided to try and finish a chapter. I'm not sure yet where I'm going with this (that's a lie, I have a slight idea) but I also want to try to stay true to my KakaSaku fangirlness. Unfortunately, this plot just seemed to steer its own path and before I knew it Sakura was sleeping with Genma and my favourite Copy-nin was nowhere to be seen! :O

Even though I take long to update, I'm predicting this story to have quite a few chapters, so I hope you guys can bear with me and my slowness ("TeinePein's updates were slow. Always slow"). Please let me know if there are any issues with it or whatever, I kind of just went free-reign with characters and ignored what's going on in the manga at the moment (I'm EXTREMELY behind on my reading. Design and art, you heartless bastards -_-)

I would really appreciate some R I need some idea of what you guys think so far. Your reviews might change the details of some of the story, so please tell me what you think! I like Genma, so please don't be cruel to him, he knows not what he does when he thinks with 'little Genma' .

Thanks a bunch!

Peace, Snow/Teine.


	2. Delicious Recklessness

**Judge Not**

XXX

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Naruto or any of its characters and make no profit from this fanfic.

A/N: This is rated M for a reason, so please, no children allowed and no sensitive readers The site seems to mess up the format a bit, so if there aren't any breaks between sections, I'm really sorry. This is unbeta-ed so please excuse any grammatical errors. (Longer A/N at the end)

XXX

Chapter 2: Delicious Recklessness

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Sakura sat at the small wooden table in Genma's kitchen, her mind dulled slightly by a throbbing headache. She grasped the warm mug of tea in her hands, feeling the warmth soaking into her fingers. A small sigh escaped her lips and she shifted slightly, drawing a leg up onto the chair leaning her cheek on her bare knee. She sat in her black panties and gray shirt, waiting for the man lying naked in the bedroom to awaken.

The morning light was soft, with deep purple-stained clouds hovering low over the dozing village. She took a sip of her tea, the warmth running through her body and settling in her recently emptied stomach. When she woke up this morning, her body twisted intimately against the orally-fixated man, she tried to remember where she was. Before she could fully comprehend her predicament, her stomach gave a lurch and she rolled off the bed quickly and bolted to the bathroom, feeling the cool porcelain beneath her fingertips as she wretched. She felt infinitely better and washed her mouth out with water and Genma's herbal toothpaste. She decided on taking a shower and slipped into the warm spray, the water washing away her night of alcohol and sin. She washed her roseate locks with Genma's shampoo and dried herself off with Genma's towel, wondering all the while, why she had not left yet. Her feet padded across the wooden floor as she searched for her clothes, scattered all over the place. She found her top and her panties and put them on leisurely. Once she found her shorts and her bra, she folded them neatly and placed them on the couch in the lounge, wanting to feel comfortable.

The Cherry Blossom felt like she belonged in this small apartment, so much homier than the obscenely large main house in the Uchiha compound. It looked lived-in and secure, with no room for deep shadows or echoes. She ran a hand through her wet hair, droplets falling on her knees and darkening the wooden table in small splatters. As she lifted the tea to her lips again, she heard movement coming from the bedroom, then she heard the hiss of the shower as Genma turned it on. Sakura sat listening to the whisper of the shower for a few minutes before the noise stopped and her seductive friend stepped into the kitchen, a towel wrapped haphazardly around his hips.

He looked up at her, sitting at his kitchen table, her shaken hair framing her delicate face and her green eyes mirroring the worry found in his. He grunted softly before sitting across from her, and couldn't help but notice that her eyes followed the movement, and trailed down his muscled torso appreciatively. He tried to smile, but his distress was taking over his expressions and his mind whirred with thoughts of what to say. He didn't have to worry for too long as Sakura spoke before him, his mind sighing in relief.

"I don't regret it, you know." she said calmly, sipping her tea. Her emerald orbs gazed at him over her mug and Genma looked straight into them, searching for a hint of a lie; he found none. When he didn't respond, she continued "I'd love to say that it was the alcohol that made me do it, but we're both shinobi and you know that we both stay perfectly coherent when we're drunk." She spoke firmly, trying to show him her conviction on the matter.

"You didn't seem too coherent at the bar last night" he said, the smallest hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

"Not in my actions maybe" she smiled faintly, amusement dancing around her eyes "but my mind knew what it wanted, and my body did too."

"I don't know what to say Sakura. The womanizer inside me is saying that it was a damn good night and that I finally got what I wanted, but then… the friend in me is telling me to be ashamed of myself for defiling you" he sighed loudly, and she saw the conflict in his expression and in his deep chocolate eyes.

"Hey, don't think that you're the only person that did some defiling last night. It takes two to tango baby." The certainty in her statement made him smile and shake his head, his sodden brown hair waving slightly and crying out droplets. She continued, leaning forward across the table and grasping his hand in her, causing him to look up at her, a slight plead in his eyes "I'm a big girl Genma, I can take responsibility for what I do. I cheated on my husband. I'm not going to blame it on the alcohol either, and that's my prerogative." She squeezed his hand in a gesture of comfort.

The senbon-sucker nodded solemnly, it wasn't like him to feel so guilty, but if he thought a bit deeper, it seemed that his guilt could easily be overshadowed by his elation. He had slept with Sakura, the woman that had kept him up many nights and the woman whose face appeared above him when other women were riding him into bliss. His lecherous side burst out and a seductive smirk widened his lips.

"What are you smiling at?" she asked, somewhat amused and a tinge of desire peaking through the haze of the dilemma she was in. She cocked her head to the side, waiting for a reply.

"Oh, nothing…" he said in mock-innocence. She looked at him dubiously, a tilt in her pink eyebrow.

"Genma…" there was a warning there and a touch of playfulness. The comfort between them seemed to dispel any awkwardness from the situation and Sakura was grateful.

"Ok, ok" he raised his hands in surrender "I was just thinking that after all my flirting with you, even before you were married, I managed to snag you once you were already hitched. It's a bit ironic if you think about it." He shrugged his shoulders in a nonchalant way and then sat back in his chair.

Sakura contemplated his words and decided that the irony was not lost on her. She had finally slept with Genma, and she had done it in a sinful night of adultery, cheating on the man that she thought she loved with her entire being. One doesn't cheat on the person they love. Right?

"I'm surprised you didn't race out of here like a bat out of hell. The last thing I expected was to find you sitting in nothing but a shirt and panties in my kitchen, sipping your tea as if you haven't a care in the world." He raised an eyebrow, curiosity playing on his eyes. Sakura shrugged, casualness coming off her in waves.

"I don't know, I like it here, I feel safe, I guess." She sipped more tea "I couldn't think of a single reason to go home, there's nothing and no one waiting for me there. It seems that my guilt is almost non-existent at this point." The distress was evident in her eyes, misery at being in a suddenly loveless marriage with a bitter husband. Genma felt pity for the beautiful woman across from him. She was gorgeous in his eyes, a woman to be treasured, pleasured, and given the world. He was a simple shinobi of the Shiranui clan; he didn't have fortunes or a bloodline limit like her Uchiha husband, but if there was one thing he knew that he excelled at, it was making women happy.

"I suppose I just find it strange that you don't feel guilty. I'm guilty as hell right now and I can't stop thinking about what Sasuke will do when he finds out" he sighed, a hint of perturbation lining his face.

"You mean _if_ he finds out" she corrected. She did not intend to tell Sasuke. She would keep this secret as if it were something precious that belonged only to her and Genma.

"He will find out. He's an Uchiha, he always gets what he wants and once he knows he'll want my head on a spike in front of the compound." Genma shivered at the thought. All his years of experience would be futile in the wake of an angry Uchiha with a blazing Sharingan; he could almost see those red eyes piercing into him and he shivered again.

"Genma, don't worry. This will be our little secret." She reassured him, feeling the truth of her words sinking into her conscience. Sasuke would never take this away from her.

XXX

Sakura entered her large house with a huff; she could feel the emptiness all around her. Empty corners and empty walls filled the house and it made her feel cold. In the two years that she had been married to Sasuke, they had barely decorated the house. She knew that she had married him too young, twenty-one was a ripe age to be settling down and making plans, but she justified it by the understanding that as a shinobi her future would never be promised.

She discarded her shoes at the entrance and padded along the wooden floors, her feet making soft _thumps_ on the boards. She was wondering what to do with herself, knowing that she held this secret. She knew that she should be thinking of ways to redeem herself, make up with Sasuke and carry on her life as if it never happened, but now that she had tasted the forbidden fruit of adultery, she wanted more. It was wrong, so incredibly wrong, but her soul soared when she thought of the way Genma had touched her and rocked against her, the feeling of his masculine body rubbing against her soft skin.

A tell-tale throb started between her legs and she rubbed her thighs together in an attempt at fulfilment. What was she doing? She was thinking about another man in the worst ways and her body was responding wholeheartedly. If she didn't feel nauseous at the thought of her husband she would've been writhing in guilt, bus as it was right now, she felt like she would be extremely happy if she never saw him again.

Another thought entered her mind; what had Sasuke ever done to deserve such treatment? It was a fight, all couples fought. How could she have broken the sanctity of marriage after only one bad fight? This thought was followed by the knowledge that Sasuke hadn't held her tenderly in over eight months and that all their sex was about instant gratification on his part. She had accepted it, wallowing in the feeling of him thrusting into her rapidly and without emotion. She would never fall over the edge with him like she used to, and he hadn't uttered those words to her since they started fighting. It seemed to the Blossom that maybe it wasn't just the two of them in this world, maybe it was just her now. Alone.

She headed for her bedroom, wishing that she didn't have to be alone. She knew that Sasuke would be gone for over a month, and the thought elated her and sickened her at the same time. She didn't want to be so cold towards him, didn't want to wrestle with the thought of him not coming home at all. It had become too hard to stay in this marriage, when they weren't screaming at each other, they were ignoring each other. The kunoichi wondered what her best friend would think of her if he knew what she'd done, the thought worried her. The last thing she wanted was for Kakashi to look at her with disappointment in his one coal eye. He didn't have to know.

She stretched out on the massive bed that she rarely shared with her husband anymore and thought of Genma trailing his hands over her skin, kissing and nipping at her until she was moaning his name. Heat flared between her legs and she snaked her hand down her abdomen to her shorts, her fingers slipping open the button and the zipper, just as Genma had done the previous night. Her hand travelled further until her fingers were rubbing against the bundle of nerves nestled there. She moaned lightly, feeling the inevitable wave of pleasure ride through her body. She imagined the orally-fixated man's hand in place of hers and her other hand found purchase teasing her distended nipple at the thought. She continued a steady rhythm, rubbing and tweaking with both hands. Her mind took over and intensified the feelings, until she could very easily imagine that Genma was between her legs, teasing her into the abyss. She moaned louder as her pace increased, her hand moving furiously between her legs until eventually her back arched and she cried out into the empty house, her voice ricocheting back at her as she squeezed her eyes shut and rode it out. Genma's name fell from her lips as her orgasm started to fade, her cheeks flushed and her hair splayed out in static around her head.

XXX

"Ah man, what am I going to do…shit!" Genma cursed to himself while he paced his kitchen. The pink-haired woman had left him standing alone, with nothing but his thoughts, which revolved solely around her. Whether he was thinking about the dilemma they had created or about the way her body had moved against his and the pleasured look on her face when she came for him. It was distressing to say the least. He went from hard-on to 'soft-on' as his thoughts shifted. His mind was in turmoil.

Lost in his thought, Genma jumped when there was a knock at his door. He wasn't expecting anyone and so the sight of Kakashi at his door made him twitch with anxiety.

"Yo" his silver-haired friend said in greeting, leaning casually against the doorframe. Genma was still in his towel and stood looking at the Copy-nin distractedly, wondering if he knew what he'd done and was there to exact his punishment. In the shinobi world, adultery was punishable on death. Well, at least that's what he thought. Of course, in all his erotic trysts, he had never slept with a married woman, despite the rumours, and so he had no point of reference.

"H-Hey, Kakashi, Buddy… what can I do for you today?" he attempted to shirk off his guilty expression, and thought he succeeded quite excellently. Kakashi looked at him with his dark eye and then seemed to shrug mentally.

"I stopped by Sakura's earlier-" he started.

"Oh yeah? How is she? Rough night last night! Haha! So much sake!" Genma was rambling and had cut Kakashi off in his nervousness.

"Yeah… anyway, she wasn't at home. Kurenai told me that you walked her home last night after she drank too much. I remember that you also drank quite a bit, so I just stopped over to make sure that it was _her_ house that you dropped her off at, and not _yours_." Kakashi's gaze was firm but casual as he searched Genma's apartment with a sweeping eye and a quick search for Sakura's chakra signature.

"Nope! I'm _pretty_ sure I dropped her at the Uchiha's place. Yeah, yeah, you know? The really big one?" the man laughed tensely, his restraint crumbling with every second that Kakashi looked at him. "What do you want with Sakura anyway?" he asked, almost-nonchalantly.

"Just wanted to say bye, I'm gone for a week, to Sand. It's kind of a custom for us to say bye to each other before we leave on missions that are longer than a day." He shrugged, seeming content with the amount of conversation passing between them. "Well, if you're sure, I'll check the hospital and then head back to her place. If I don't catch up with her, tell her I say bye, ok?" he asked, calm as always.

"Yeah, yeah, sure…" his words trailed off, nervousness creeping into his stomach in the form of swan-diving butterflies. "Ok! Bye man! Have to get ready for the day, you know! Jounin stuff and all that!" without waiting for a reply from his friend, Genma shut the door and bounded for his bedroom, banging the door and collapsing onto his bed, fear gripping his stomach.

"Get a grip man, she said it was fine."

XXX

Sakura made her way through the hospital, flat shoes squeaking against the linoleum floors. She checked the chart in her hand, double-checking the room number of her next patient. She walked through the open door of room 34, finding Neji sitting up in his bed, a book splayed across his lap and a bandage wrapped around his torso.

"How're you feeling today, Neji?" Sakura asked casually, taking her position next to his bed and unravelling the bandage carefully. Neji had come back from an ANBU mission, a large gash in his side and barely alive from blood loss. His white eyes tracked her movements, wary from being in the hospital for a week.

"I'm feeling better today, Sakura-san, I think I should be fine to return home today" he replied calmly, the slightest hint of irritation in his voice, probably due to cabin fever.

"Well, that's up to me to decide, isn't it?" she retorted firmly, her green chakra glowing over his mostly-closed wound, the skin surrounding it a shocking purple. He sighed as she examined him, her chakra mixing into his skin, warmth flooding from her touch.

"Yes, I understand. I do not enjoy being stuck in the hospital." His affliction to hospitals reminded her of her best friend, vaguely recalling that he was leaving for a mission today and that he had not come to say goodbye. With a slight shock she wondered if he had been to her house while she was still at Genma's, her stomach sank at the thought. She shook herself back to her task, deciding that no medic could heal Neji's wound any more and that he could be sent home on week-long bed rest.

"Alright Neji, it looks like you can go home, but you have to stay in bed for a week, to rest your body, or else you could find yourself back here _very_ soon." She looked at him resolutely, trying to convey the seriousness of her words. He nodded gravely in acceptance of her terms.

"Thank you Sakura-san" he said politely. Shifting as she re-wrapped his wound.

"I'll go get your discharge papers ready, sit tight" she said absently as she walked out of his room.

As she walked down the hallway towards the front desk, she gasped as she noticed Genma walking towards her, hands in pockets and a senbon between his lips. He seemed to be trying very hard to saunter, as he usually did. Butterflies fluttered through her stomach, making her heart beat faster with every step he took.

Eventually he was in front of her, a lazy smile on his lips, the senbon hanging down somewhat. He lifted a hand in greeting, and attached a curt nod to it. She smiled widely, her eyes glistening as she spluttered a greeting in return. His smile seemed to elevate at her apparent giddiness at his arrival and he calmed down significantly.

"Genma! What're you doing here?" she asked quickly, a sense of urgency entering her words. She wondered if he wanted to talk about what they did. With all her heart, she hoped he didn't, because whenever she thought about it she only felt ecstasy and exultation.

"I was wondering if Kakashi came to see you? He stopped by my place after you left saying he couldn't find you at home to say goodbye. I think you two missed each other by a few minutes." He seemed to sigh in relief as he continued "It's a damn good thing that you left when you did. That situation would've been catastrophic" Sakura nodded her head in agreement.

"No, I didn't see him at all. I was actually just wondering why he didn't come to say goodbye" she shrugged as she looked up at him again.

"Oh, ok, well he told me to tell you goodbye" Genma scratched the back of his head in a nervous gesture. Sakura smiled and thanked him and then grabbed his arm lightly, in a show of affection.

"Will you come with me for a bit?" she asked him, her eyes showing her gentle plea. He relaxed into her touch and nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving her face. She turned on her heel, still holding his arm, and headed down the hallway.

Once they reached a white door with a plaque on it reading: 'Haruno Sakura – Head Medic', they stopped and she opened the door, walking into the room casually. Genma followed her more anxiously and she gestured for him to sit in one of the chairs in front of her desk, he complied. Sitting down with a huff and a nervous hand running through his hair, he reclined in the chair and watched her as she moved to lean in front of her desk, a few feet from him.

"Do you feel guilty?" she asked him. It seemed like an obvious question, but Genma was known for his womanizing ways and Sakura suddenly had an inability to feel guilt, so she had to ask.

"What do you think? Of course I do! I'm stuck between feeling guilty for helping you cheat and the guilt of having enjoyed doing it!" his face crumpled with his admission and he leaned forward, his head in his hands. Just as he looked up, he saw her shapely hips and firm thighs, still evident in her near-shapeless uniform. She moved closer still until she had pushed her way between his knees, standing in front of him, effectively clearing his mind.

"Wh-what are you doing?" he asked, unsure of his feelings towards her boldness.

"Touch me Genma" a hint of desire coloured her words.

"No, I can't do that!" his words were frenzied, bubbling out of his mouth like foam.

"But you want to… and I want you to… so badly…" she moved closer, running a hand through his hair, scraping nails through his scalp and sending shivers down his spine and making the senbon clatter to the floor. His hands suddenly found themselves on her hips, gripping her yielding curves and pulling her closer, a soft moan falling from his mouth. He almost groaned at the feel of her, as if he hadn't touched her much more intimately just hours before. He bent his head forward, leaning his forehead against her stomach, smelling her scent of strawberries and something he couldn't identify. Her hand gripped his hair suddenly, pulling his head up to look into her lust-hazed eyes, a pink tongue darting out to lick a pouting lip. He groaned at the sight, feeling a swift tightness in his pants.

She pushed him back in the seat, straddling him as she placed herself over the bulge, rocking slightly to feel it grow harder, she moaned lightly, his name tumbling from her lips. He sucked in a breath, the sound indicating his growing desire and Sakura savoured it. She looped her arms around his neck, as she had done to Sasuke countless times, and brought her face closer to his, her emerald eyes glowing.

"Do you want me, Genma?" she asked him, desire painted in her words, as she increased the rhythm between them, nothing entering her mind except the feeling of the man beneath her. Their mouths almost touching and their breaths mingling made the friction between them clear, and Sakura waited for his answer as if it would change the course of her life. And it would.

"Yes"

XXX

A/N:

Here's the second installment for _Judge Not_. I'm hoping it's going ok so far. My mind is a bit jumbled in regards to where I'm going, but I kind of like it so far. Sakura's recklessness and heartlessness are somewhat strange to me, but I think it's a nice change. I like delving into the human mind, seeing how far I can push a character. I like the thought of her not having any guilt in the beginning. Usually with affairs, people are really guilty at the beginning and that guilt seems to linger throughout. I'm going to try and make this a bit different. Let's see how it goes and how Sasuke changes through the course of the story too.

There's a severe lack of Kakashi in this fic, and it makes me antsy, but the story has a life of its own and he doesn't seem to have a vital part yet. I have an idea… but you'll have to wait to see what it is.

Peace,

Snow/Teine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting these all over from FF.net
> 
> They were written a while ago. The story isn't complete yet, but I'm working on it.


	3. Compulsion

Judge Not

XXX

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Naruto or any of its characters and make no profit from this fanfic.

A/N: This is rated M for a reason, so please, no children allowed and no sensitive readers The site seems to mess up the format a bit, so if there aren't any breaks between sections, I'm really sorry. This is unbeta-ed so please excuse any grammatical errors. (Longer A/N at the end)

XXX

Chapter 3: Compulsion

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The first time was an impulsive action, fuelled by alcohol, longing and misery. The second time was a choice, a choice that determined more choices.

One night of lust turned into an hour of desire in a small office in a hospital, which turned into four months of recklessness and sex. Sakura would 'stay later' at the 'hospital' and find herself wrapped in a mess of sheets and limbs on top of Genma, breathing hard and feeling their soaked skin rubbing together. She would guide herself down his firm body and wrap her kiss-stained lips around him, feeling him in her mouth and running a tongue lazily up his member. In turn, he would lavish her body in kisses and make her scream out his name with his face buried between her thighs, tasting her and licking her until she unravelled beneath his touch. He would covet her body, making it his own, every opportunity he got.

It wasn't difficult to continue their sinful deeds, Sasuke was rarely in the village, favouring the most dangerous and extended missions over his previously short ones. The Cherry Blossom didn't mind in the least, it allowed for her to have mind-blowing, taboo sex in their bed, on their kitchen table, in their hallway, and she could scream as loudly as she wanted, because the compound was empty.

No one would know about their lascivious actions, because with an absent husband and a significant absence of guilt, the kunoichi felt no need to let on to her actions to anyone. It is often found that people that feel overwhelming guilt will do anything short of actually voicing their culpability, in order to get caught in the act. A kleptomaniac will wait until the security guard is seconds away before stealing something, and a man having an affair will leave a lipstick stain on his collar in plain view for his wife to see. Sakura felt no such inclination; her sordid affair with Genma was for her own delight. It was a secret that they harboured together, a secret that was only voiced once the sex was over and they lay entwined with each other, speaking in muted tones, their breaths running over each other's skin, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake.

XXX

"Come on! Come at me, dammit!" the kunoichi screamed, standing in the middle of a slightly upturned training field. She watched her ex-sensei and best friend standing casually at the edge of the field, orange book in hand and a carefree demeanour to add to it.

The Cherry Blossom lunged forward, kunai at the ready, prepared to make him pay attention. As soon as she reached the spot where Kakashi had been standing, she found herself alone and spun around to find him in the spot she had just vacated.

"What's _wrong_ with you today?" she yelled at him, across the upturned dirt and grass. She ruffled her hair in irritation and slowly walked towards him.

"Nothing at all" he said calmly, not once glancing up from his book as she approached him.

"Then why won't you _fight_ me?" anger twisted through her words. She wanted nothing more than to train after a long week at the hospital. She wanted to let off steam and spend some time with her best friend, who seemed strangely absent as of late.

"I don't train with cheaters" he said nonchalantly, a hint of seriousness dotting his words. Sakura's stomach dropped and bounced back up and into her throat. Did he know? How did he find out? She tried to maintain her angry façade without letting her anxiety break free.

"You know I never cheat when I spar with you, Snowflake" she added the nickname to try to sweeten her words. She glanced at him nervously, waiting to hear his reply.

"Hm." He said, before bursting into a puff of smoke, leaving the kunoichi alone in the broken training field that had started to resemble the relationships in her life. One spot in the middle of the field remained untouched, a perfect layer of green grass and she walked to it, sinking to her knees. She could feel the weight of everything that she was trying to balance in her life. It was becoming too much. This one patch of perfect grass was her life with Genma, and she ignored the fact that the purest spot was found in the very centre of the chaos.

XXX

"I think he knows" she whispered into his ear, her body running along his, their legs wrapped in each other and their naked bodies touching as much as was possible in their position. He ran his fingers lazily over her naked back, loving the feel of her soft skin, a scar altering his course every now and again. Upon hearing her words, his ministrations halted and he looked down at her, their noses almost touching.

"How would he?" he asked, perturbation glistening in his whisper. She moved her face closer to his, rolling her body until she was on top of him, her firm abdomen rubbing against his and her soft breasts with hardened peaks confined between their bodies.

"I don't know. The way he looked at me for just that second, and his words, it made my blood run cold" her voice was more worried now, but somehow when she was with Genma, all her worry seemed so much lighter. He ran his fingers up her sides, continuing from earlier, and felt her body react to him. She pulled herself up, straddling his hips and felt him beneath her, hard and firm. She moaned softly and he grasped her hips, aiding in the rhythm she was creating.

"Maybe he doesn't. What will he do anyway? It's none… of his… business" his words became more bitten-off as she continued to move atop him "Ah, Sakura." He growled in a whisper, lifting his hips to heighten the ecstasy.

"Genma… do you want me? Do you want _this_?" she accentuated her last word with a roll of her hips, rubbing her moist centre over his naked member. She felt his stomach muscles ripple as her hands raked down them, jumping at the connection. Suddenly he sat up, her legs still straddling him, and grasped her hair in one hand, swallowing her moans with the deepest of kisses. He pulled out of the kiss with a wet suctioning sound and looked into her emerald eyes, half-lidded with need, and spoke one word.

"Yes"

XXX

"Yes! Yes! Ah! Genma! Yes!" her screams filled the compound, the squeak of bedsprings the only sound to distract from her cries. Laboured breaths could be heard under the cacophony of screaming and squeaking.

Genma was slightly bent over behind the kunoichi on her hands and knees, her cheek pressed firmly into the mussed sheets, and the Uchiha symbol grasped between her small but deadly fingers. Her body rocked violently over the covers and sweat streamed off her body, mingling with the sweat dripping off her partner.

His masculine hands gripped her hips, plunging her backwards into him repeatedly, sheathing himself within her heated core rhythmically. He righted his posture and threw his head back, a groan tumbling from his mouth. Sweat caused his brown hair to stick to his forehead and it ran down his toned body in an impressive display of heat and carnal desire. The _slap slap_ of flesh hitting flesh beat through the room, adding to the harmonious symphony that was their lovemaking. And lovemaking it was, as after all these months, the sex had changed from lust-induced _fucking_ to a bodily conversation between the two shinobi.

Their movements spoke of longing, anguish, and the distress at being apart. At times, it also spoke of happiness and complete serenity as they slid against each other and tasted the illicit flavours of their partner in every way.

After, they'd lie motionless and speak; their voices were always hushed, so as not to disturb the calm of the afterglow. It was in complete contrast to the life Sakura knew, which was one of silence and one-sided conversations. She basked in the connection, one of intellect and equality. This feeling was second to none.

XXX

The days were lazy in the heat of summer; it wrapped around Konoha like a fire-warmed blanket and relinquished its hold to nothing. People fanned themselves to quell the heat and lazed around in shop windows in an attempt to find pause from the blistering sun. The smell of hot bodies moving around the village marketplace wafted into the noses of the villagers, the feeling of humidity and general discomfort clinging to their sweat soaked skin like a second layer.

Sakura walked through the crowd, her red shirt zipped down slightly to reveal glistening skin. She held a bag of groceries in the crook of her arm and used an old fan to blow air into her face, brushing her hair backwards with the motion.

She huffed, the heat becoming overwhelming in its intensity. She prayed for rain; she wanted a storm like no other, with thunder and lightning wrestling in the sky and gushes of water flowing through the streets. She could almost feel the rain on her skin, but she knew that her hopes were pointless as there had not been rain for over three weeks and the effects of the drought were apparent on every street. Dust swirled to dance with the humidity, creating a sickening weight in the air.

Sakura stopped at a vendor's stall, placing her fan into the bag at her arm and glancing over the withered fruit and vegetables laying on the stand. The tired old man sitting behind the stall looked up briefly before returning to fanning himself with a broken piece of cardboard. Just then, another body appeared next to the kunoichi, once more the vendor glimpsed the new arrival and then continued to fan himself, disinterest lining his weathered face. Sakura didn't have to look up to know who it was, and she felt a smile tugging at her lips, but reigned it in to preserve her appearance of casual perusal.

A finger laced its way through hers, a small show of affection, and then squeezed lightly. Their bodies were close, unusual for the distance that people usually kept to each other on these summer days. She spared a glance in the direction of her lover and felt his gaze resting lightly on her face. They barely moved, as they stood there, her focus no longer on the dying food in front of her.

"You shouldn't be here" she whispered, passing it off as a huff of irritation at the all-encompassing heat.

"I know, but I saw you, and I couldn't stop myself." he said as he turned to face the market, his lips closer to her ear, to avoid speaking above a whisper. The hustle of the irritable crowd covered their conversation. It was moments like this that they both loved, where they could be caught any second, sharing looks that lasted longer than were friendly and holding their fingers in a chain. The thrill of being close in public, when the actions were forbidden and the knowledge of their tryst was still a secret, bubbled through them.

She smiled at the fruit, as if pleased that they were dying, and turned her head to him with a small inclination. A silent thought passed from her to him and in that moment it became apparent to both that they had become closer than they thought. They could converse without words, when the fear of being found out was rife and then have the longest discussions when the fear was no longer there, undulating serenity in its place.

"Yo" came the calm voice of the Copy-nin as he was suddenly next to Sakura. Their fingers abruptly separated, as if they were never together, as he made his appearance. Sakura jolted slightly and the bag tucked under arm rustled with the motion. Genma was suddenly further away from her than moments ago and she sighed at the loss of contact, but passed it off as an annoyed exclamation directed at her best friend.

"Kakashi! Geez! You scared the shit out of me!" her eyes glowed with exhaustion and irritation and the silver-haired man merely shrugged and then leaned against the stall, his gaze drifting over the vegetables quickly and then going back to Sakura's face.

"I haven't seen you in a while, so when I saw you standing here, taking _forever_ to choose your... uh… _fresh_ … produce I couldn't stop myself from coming to say hi." His words, so similar to Genma's made Sakura nervous, and she wondered if he had heard their near-silent exchange. She felt the orally-fixated man shift beside her, obviously feeling the anxiety as well. "Oh Genma, didn't see you there, hi to you too" the Copy-nin continued cheerfully.

"What are you doing out here? It's boiling hot and you're still wearing all those layers. You should be inside Snowflake, you might melt." she taunted, feeling the familiar friendliness drifting between them. Kakashi glanced down at his attire and shrugged at her, indicating that the layers made no difference to him.

"Uh, I'm going to go… lots to do, you know. Bye Hatake, Sakura…" Genma's voice floated in between the two as he began to make his exit, but Kakashi's voice stopped him.

"You didn't buy anything" the copy-nin noted from his leaning position.

"What?" Genma's nervousness laced through his reply as he turned back to his comrades.

"Fruit. You didn't buy any." Kakashi gestured to the poor example of apples and oranges before them with a raised eyebrow and a tilted head.

"Oh, yeah, no. I was just talking to Sakura over here about…" his words ran off, seeming to lose steam.

"About my work at the hospital" Sakura aided the man, her voice giving away nothing with respect to the awkward situation.

"Ah, I see" Kakashi said, and Sakura could hear the disbelief riddling his tone.

Genma took the break in his friend's interrogation as an opportunity to slip away from the stall, sauntering with unusual speed down the dusty street.

"What is your _problem_?" Sakura's tone was angry as she eyed her best friend. He looked at her, his black eye serious and piercing and she could see the solid line of his mouth through the cloth of his mask.

"I'm going to give you an ultimatum." he said firmly, no hint of the previous friendly exchange in his voice "Either _you_ tell him, or _I_ will. It's your choice, Cheater." The kunoichi shivered at the nickname, the one word that brought all her actions to light in this muggy marketplace. Her eyes showed her shock, widening and then glistening with a small line of moisture. The tears burned at her temples and she begged them to stay put as she watched Kakashi turn around and walk into the crowd, like a needle in a stack of needles, with nothing to distinguish him except his shock of silver hair.

XXX

A lump in mangled sheets was the only thing to show the outline of the pink-haired woman, as she lay under the covers, alone. It was nights like these, were the whisper of the wind outside replaced the whisper of her lover, that she hated the most. She was left to her thoughts and she could taste the bitter flavour of Sasuke's words when he had told her that she would get her wish and be all alone, with nothing but her thoughts. Tears raced down her face as she felt her carefully constructed worlds collide into each other; her perfect patch of grass was being demolished and starting to look just like the rest of the broken field that was her life.

_Cheater_

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" she hissed at herself, recalling every moment with Genma and wondering how Kakashi had found out and how she had brought herself to not worrying about it before. It was cruel of him to give her that ultimatum; it was none of his business. In the back of her mind, she knew that if she were in his position, she would do the same. It was being a best friend, insuring that their friend was doing the right thing and not ruining their life each time they indulged in the sweet nectar of taboo conduct. A sob burst out of her chest, wracking her body and dripping more tears down her cheeks.

_Cheater_

He was right, she knew it, and despite her understanding, she knew that she wanted to fight tooth and nail for the little world of solace that she had created with Genma. It wasn't based only on sex anymore, it was a functioning machine, a give-and-take between two consenting adults.

In the midst of all her confusion, there was one thing of which she was certain; Genma made her happy.

Her eyes drooped as sleep began taking her over, but before she fell to the sandman, she felt the familiar presence of Sasuke entering the dark house, he was deathly silent and his arrival did not jar her into full consciousness.

Her eyes flitted closed, tender from the tears they had cried.

_Cheater_

XXX

" _Sakura" a cool voice spoke her name, beckoning her to open her eyes. Long lashes lifted as green depths peaked out, sleep dazing them. Deep orange sunlight poured in through the window, morning making its entrance in a flurry of breathtaking colours._

" _Hmm?" she murmured, moving into the warmth next to her. Her pink hair scattered over her face, trailing down her sleepy eyes and rose-tinted cheeks._

" _Marry me, Sakura" the deep voice whispered excitedly, a hand tracing over her shoulder and along the dip of her waist and swell of her hip._

" _Hmm…" her voice showed no sketch of understanding, drowsiness abducting her reason._

" _Marry me" the voice said again, pure joy painting the words like a rainbow of colours splashed onto a blank canvas._

" _Sasuke… of course" she rolled over onto her back and turned her head to face him. The orange light of the dawn danced across her face, lighting her half-lidded eyes as her petal mouth widened in a lethargic smile. Unadulterated happiness filled her sleepy features as she gazed up at the man resting on and arm next to her. His deep blue-black hair drooped over his coal-black eyes, and the light created a dazzling outline over his muscled shoulder and well toned waist._

_He smiled and exclaimed a sound of elation as he bent forward to kiss her, a soft kiss that burned through her body. Their smiles were barely contained as the kiss deepened and he rolled himself closer to her and gripped her waist, pulling her into his sleep-warmed body._

_She moaned at the contact, her mind aflutter with thoughts of his words, which held so much promise in them._

_Marry me, Sakura._

XXX

She woke from her dream, her eyes snapping open to focus on the dark wooden floorboards stretched out next to the bed.

Unadulterated happiness.

It seemed like a lifetime ago that Sasuke had uttered those words of proposal to her. It was insanely ironic that she had grown from unadulterated happiness to only finding happiness in adultery. She thought of this as she lay next to her husband, their backs to each other and a large space in between them. It represented the void that had formed in their marriage, and this symbolism was not lost on the Cherry Blossom.

"Sasuke" she said, detachment evident in her voice. She knew he was awake, even though the regularity of his breathing never changed.

"Hn" his expected reply drifted over to her and stung at her like an angered wasp.

"I'm having an affair" she didn't know what pushed her to tell him, whether it be Kakashi's words or exhaustion at the constant tip-toeing that had become her life, but impulsiveness seemed to be her latest trait.

"I know."

Two words to make her feel like a fool.

XXX

A/N:

Geez. What on _earth_ is Sakura doing? *shakes head* I'm not sure actually (juuuuust kidding). It's a bit confusing, isn't it? I can't decide whether to hate her for cheating or pat her on the back for finding her own happiness. One thing I do know though, is that cheating is _bad_.

I feel like I'm using Genma as a tool… but whatever, it's the ninja way ( _"My body is a tool"_ ).

Were you shocked that Sasuke knew? I wasn't. He's awfully perceptive, that one. And what about Kakashi? Is he betraying his friendship to Sakura or is he right? Dun dun duuuun :O

As per usual, I'm very new to writing lemons, so if they seem weird, just scroll past them… you know, for your own benefit. Nevertheless, I'm having an awfully good time writing this story, because I'm on holiday right now and I got bitten by the writing bug. So, this latest update consisted of a few chapters, to make up for my lengthy absence ;)

Please forgive me if the chapter seems rushed or confused, my outline for this story comes on impulse, so there are quite a few details that haven't been nailed down yet. So yeah, I jumped forward about 4/5 months in this chapter, but I had to show the progression of their affair without going through all 4/5 months.

I really hope you're all enjoying this story, and if it doesn't do much for you, I'm really sorry… *cough*.

Peace,

Snow/Teine.


	4. Cheater, Liar, Disgusting, Mess

Judge Not

XXX

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Naruto or any of its characters and make no profit from this fanfic.

A/N: This is rated M for a reason, so please, no children allowed and no sensitive readers This is unbeta-ed so please excuse any grammatical errors. (Longer A/N at the end)

XXX

Chapter 4: Cheater, Liar, Disgusting, Mess

XXX

_First there was anger and blame._

"I'm not shocked that you're having an affair, Sakura!" Sasuke's voice was raised, piercing her ears. She sat motionless at the kitchen table, gripping her knees and staring at the wood grain. His voice rang out to her, the level of if the effect of the fight that had started an hour before. She had tried to seem apologetic, but her apologies tumbled from insincere lips and fell on deaf ears.

"Then _what_ , Sasuke? Why are you so angry? You _knew_! You knew and you never said anything! So why are we even here?" her tone was not yet at his level, but it was growing with each word. For once, Sakura was the one that didn't understand, and made little to no attempt to even try. She supposed it made sense, an affair slides into a marriage and a husband and wife have a fight, then a discussion and then make a decision. It was never like this with Sasuke, he made all the decisions and never negotiated nor asked to discuss matters.

"I don't _know_ why we're here, because – clearly – you don't want to be in this marriage! You have your little _fuck buddy_ and you seem to like it that way! Never mind that you hardly speak to your goddamned _husband_!" He was furious, strange for the disciplined Uchiha, and his words nipped at her like a hot poker, "You think you can _justify_ what you're doing? Are you going to tell me that I'm never home, and I'm too distant and you just wanted to feel like a _woman_ again? Well _shame_! When is it _ever_ ok to cheat, Sakura? Tell me! _When_?" Sasuke had never spoken so openly, and Sakura realized that while she thought she had tried her hardest to understand him, she never really had. She had become superficial, someone who used words like 'kind' and 'understanding' to describe herself, but in reality they were just words, depth-less and useless.

"It's true," she said quietly.

"What's that?" he stepped forward, looming over her, and she seemed so small curled up on the chair.

"I said it's true."

"What's true, Sakura? _Enlighten_ me," derision marred his words and Sakura seemed to wither beneath the weight of his gaze.

"You don't love me anymore, Sasuke! Can you blame me for looking for love somewhere else?" Her anger sparked and she toppled out of the chair, standing in front of him in record time.

" _Yes_! I fucking _can_ blame you! It was your choice! No one else's! Don't you _dare_ try to shift the blame onto me. This is all on you," his voice lowered, dangerous in its depth.

"I know that," she simmered down, a darkness creeping into her eyes "You weren't shocked, though, so I'm guessing you expected nothing less from me." She shook her head, a contemptuous laugh escaping her lips, devoid of any humour.

"You know, by this point, the only thing that shocked me was that you thought I would care," he turned from her, his dark hair covering the side of his face. She didn't see the pain in his eyes and he spared her no glance as he left the house. She stood in the kitchen, wondering why she suddenly felt like she was falling into darkness. It had never entered her mind that she was cheating on Sasuke to invoke some form of emotion from him. Maybe she was toying with herself and with Genma, and even Sasuke, just to feel _something_ from him.

It was all a game, wasn't it, Sakura? You damn fool.

XXX

"Could you just… not look at me like that?" she pleaded quietly, sitting on the couch in Kakashi's small living room, a glass of wine nestled in her hands and a large sweatshirt engulfing her small frame.

"Like what? Like you made a mistake? Like you've royally fucked up? What did you expect, Sakura? Did you think your little affair was going to go smoothly, that no one was going to get hurt? It's not the way these things work." His tone was serious as he sat across from her on a threadbare recliner, a beer in his hand. His mask was pooled around his neck, which made the grim line of his mouth even more apparent.

"Don't you think I know that, Kakashi? I'm not proud of what I've done, but I'll be damned if I'll feel guilty for it." Exhaustion lined her face, pulling her eyes tightly.

"Why don't you?" He asked, curiosity and a touch of anger in his words.

"I just don't."

" _Why_?"

"Kakashi! For fuck's sake! I don't feel guilty! What do you want me to tell you? I loved every minute of it! When I was _fucking_ Genma, Sasuke never crossed my mind, not even once! It was only me and him, the rest of the world be damned…" she didn't appreciate his probing, she needed comfort, not questions.

"Well, I guess you got your wish, because now it really is just you and him, you made sure of that. What makes you so sure that he feels the same? He's a free agent, he fucks who he wants, does what he wants and never stops to wonder about the consequences. It's just the way he is." Kakashi sighed, he wasn't sure if he could give his best friend what she needed, he was too angry with her and his brown-eyed comrade.

"You don't know anything about Genma." She said shortly.

"Oh really? And you do? Have you known him for thirty years, Sakura? Do you understand him at all?" His line of questioning was relentless and he could see it was wearing her down.

"No! I haven't known him for thirty years! But you don't know him like I do!"

"And how is that?" his said forcefully.

"Like a lover!" she spat.

"No, I suppose I don't know him like that, but what kind of man helps his friend ruin their marriage, hmm? What does that say about him?" He hated knocking his old friend down, but the truth of the matter had to be brought out into the open.

"It says that he loves me enough to help me, when I need it most!" she almost growled as she leaned forward, whine forgotten on the old coffee table. Her words had a double meaning, intended to tell Kakashi that he didn't love her enough to do what Genma had done; help her.

"Love?" Kakashi scoffed "You don't seem to understand the meaning of that word anymore."

"No! _You_ don't seem to understand _me_ anymore!" her eyes blazed, hating herself for fighting with him but feeling the need to defend her lover.

"How am I supposed to understand you, when you don't even understand yourself?" he lost his fuel, grief at the loss of the Sakura he knew taking over. "How did you let yourself become like this? You have no morals!"

"You're my best friend, Kakashi, you're supposed to help me, not judge me!" she directed her anger into a more personal approach, earning a solid stare from her counterpart.

"You think I'm not helping you? What did you want me to do, hide you two away, offer my bed as a place to carry on your stupid fucking affair?" He was angry; he didn't understand how she couldn't see how reckless she was being. After all this time, Kakashi still managed to treat her like his student, scolding her when she made mistakes and trying to show her where she went wrong. Some things would never change; at least she could rely on him for consistency.

"No, but you could at least stop judging us."

"I'm not the judge you have to worry about Sakura, the real judge of your actions is sitting right there, whispering in your ear."

XXX

_Cheater_

_Liar_

_Disgusting_

_Mess_

XXX

" _Have you ever wondered how we got here? It seems like a dream…" a hushed voice said, happiness tilting the words upwards like a smile._

" _Love, that's how we got here, was it not obvious?" a deep tone said, the body attached to it moving closer into the warmth that was its partner. A small laugh followed from the lover, bubbling out like a bird's song._

" _I guess it was… now that I think about it… but it wasn't always so, was it?" the hushed voice asked, knowing the answer before it was spoken._

" _No, but then again, some of us aren't as blatant about our feelings." The second voice said, slight mockery drifting through like a whisper._

" _Well, if we were all subtle, then no one would ever fall in love." The feminine voice retorted._

" _True… and we did fall in love, despite our obvious differences…" the words were spoken softly into bubblegum hair, the scent of strawberries invading the speaker's nose._

" _I love you, Sasuke."_

" _Hn."_

" _Say it."_

" _I love you, Sasuke." Amusement lifted a smirk onto the man's face._

" _You're a bastard" the sound of a slight slap disturbed the tranquility of the room._

" _I love you too."_

XXX

The patter of rain signaled the end of the drought, the end of the blazing summer and the end of something beautiful and fierce. Deep purple rain clouds covered Konoha like an ominous shawl, encompassing the village with its depth and sheer size. The first drops were a tease to the dusty streets and heated villagers, mocking their discomfort. Finally, after playing the joker for over an hour, the clouds yawned, releasing a torrent of water, flooding the streets and people, much to their joy and relief. Villagers and shinobi alike filtered out into the streets, lifting their faces into the volley, relishing in the feel of it on their parched faces. No one cared about the mud staining their shoes or the impending threat of illness that might follow such an act, their only thought was the respite the water would bring from the heat that had plagued them for over a month. This was Summer's exit, making way for its sister; Autumn.

Sakura moved through the crowd, the rain drenching her clothes and darkening her hair. The downpour she had wished for, so vehemently, taunted her as it brought with it the end of her stability and she found herself yearning for the chance to take back her wish. She would rather suffer the heat for a thousand years than feel this pain.

All around her, people smiled, the rain making faux-tears run down their faces. Not a soul noticed the kunoichi staggering through the crowd, salty liquid mixing with the ambush of water. Their cries of joy drowned out her sobs, their jostling bodies covered her shivers and their blissful ignorance shrugged off her empty green eyes.

Despite all the frivolity, the Cherry Blossom saw their faces twist and mangle into sneers and glares of revulsion, looking down at her like a common whore.

_Cheater_

_Liar_

_Disgusting_

_Mess_

It was written in their faces, or rather, written in the faces that she gave them, aided by the voice in her head. In her mind's eye, they all saw her for who she truly was and they all knew what she'd done. She was a cheater in her actions, a liar in her words, disgusting in her infidelity and a mess in her thoughts.

She couldn't bear to look at herself, her stomach churning with revulsion whenever she thought of Genma and felt the lust pool in her belly. She knew she shouldn't, but she had to, there was nothing she wanted more than for him to hold her and tell her it was ok. It was with this thought that she made her way through the deluge towards Genma's apartment, trying to ignore the sneering faces of the happy people as they rejoiced in the rain.

The voice in her head told her that it was all a game, and that she was losing.

XXX

"Sakura! You're soaked! Get in here." Genma's startled voice circled her shivering frame as she stood in the hallway in front of his apartment. She succumbed to his ushering fingers as he guided her into the small entrance, fluttering around her and appearing with a large white towel that he promptly covered her in. His hands created friction as he attempted to dry her saturated body, earning no protest from the withered Blossom.

"What's happened? Are you hurt?" His voice was laced with concern and it leaked into his eyes like an upwards flowing waterfall. She shook her head, indicating that she didn't want to talk about it just yet. Instead, she flung herself into his arms, the tears bursting from her reddened eyes, and gripped him as if her life depended on it. In truth, she felt like it did, if he didn't hold her she would crumble to the ground and no one would be able to put her together again. She felt like Humpty-Dumpty, after the 'Great Fall'.

He wrapped his arms around her once he'd recovered from the abruptness of her hug. The Senbon-wielder kissed the top of her head and whispered words of comfort, telling her it was ok, he was here now.

"Please, just hold me." She whimpered into his chest, her tears and rain soaked clothes wetting his shirt, but he didn't seem to care. He guided them to the bed and lay her down on the deep blue cover, laying next to her and pulling her shaking body close. She nestled into his side, her arm thrown over his torso, gripping onto his shirt desperately. Genma rubbed soothing circles into her back until he felt her start to shake violently.

"We need to get you dry, or you're going to get sick." He said tenderly, careful not to speak too loudly, lest he disturb her evidently fragile state of mind. Sakura sat up and began removing her shirt, dropping it on the wooden floor with a wet _thump_ , and then followed with her shorts and underwear. They made a messy and wet pile on the floor, but she didn't care. Genma removed his soaked shirt, laid down, pulling her with him and then grabbed the blanket that was shoved to the side of the bed in a rumpled heap earlier in the day. He whisked the blanket over them, covering the shaking kunoichi as she cuddled into his side. She seemed lost, confused and in need of love, not lust. Luckily, for the kunoichi, Genma was absolutely enamoured with her and would give her anything she needed.

He never thought he would fall in love; he was a shinobi, trained to kill. His hands were rough and scarred, used for indelicate deeds and not for caressing the soft skin of a lover. His previous trysts were short-lived, and there were many of them, more than he could remember. So when he found himself sleeping with the same woman for over four months, he began to wonder exactly what he was doing. He had been scared in the beginning, petrified of the ramifications of what he'd done, but then the woman lying next to him had propositioned him and he felt himself powerless and unable to say no. She had caught him in her web, and he'd never felt so thrilled, trapped and alive in his whole life.

Adultery. It should be a common word for the womanizer, but he used to pride himself on the fact that he'd never bedded a married woman. Now look at him, clutching a naked and spoken-for woman against his chest and remembering all the time they'd spent together. He could write a map of her body without the use of his eyes. One thing he never counted on was her lack of guilt; when he stepped into the room, all her thoughts were focused on him. There were no nights of sex followed by cries of guilt and shame; there were only cries of pleasure. It was strange. He was guilty, he felt it in his bones, seeping into his bloodstream like a slow-working poison, but he ignored it, because he loved her and because he was, it seemed, innately selfish when it came to his Cherry Blossom. He didn't want an emotion as inane as guilt to ruin something so breathtaking.

Sakura moved against him, pushing her face into the crook of his neck, her lips touching the place where his pulse beat steadily, and he shivered in delight. Tonight was not a night of lust, however, tonight was a night of love. To be able to hold her, quietly, until the morning, with the sounds of their heartbeats making up a rhythmic concerto, was the purest form of bliss. He didn't need physical pleasure, to feel pleasure, or a mind-blowing orgasm to scream out in elation, all he needed was her. This was shocking. Genma - the womanizing, senbon-sucking, smooth-talking, earth-shatteringly good-looking man - was in love and it scared him to near-paralysis and excited him to no end.

XXX

_Then there was indifference and hopelessness._

Autumn arrived with a flash, trees shirking off their green covers in favour of oranges and soft yellows, and whistling air blowing through the fields like nature's own symphony. It was a pleasant change from the heat, but it brought with it its own problems, such as the chilling and almost violent winds. They were ravenous in their intensity, attacking villagers and lifting dust into the air with little to no effort.

Sakura had escaped the onslaught by slipping into the Uchiha main house, but now, as she stood at the entrance to the massive kitchen, she wished she had stayed outside, where the slice of the wind was far less brutal than the oppressive silence that she had entered into. She had started a conversation with Sasuke, but he had retorted with a dismissive response.

"I don't want to hear it, Sakura." His voice had regained its usual chilliness since their last fight, where his anger was apparent, though not as vocal as her own. He sat in the centre of the room, a mug of black coffee steaming in front of him and mission reports sprawled all over the table.

"We have to talk about it at some point; you can't go on pretending it didn't happen." She said defiantly, purpose burning in her emerald eyes. Sasuke would never know it or see it, but behind that look of purpose was a sense of defeat, it was as small as an ember, but scalding all the same.

" _Didn't_ happen? Don't you mean, _isn't happening_?" he corrected her, and it hit her like a freight train, "Don't think that I'm too stupid as to think that you ended it."

"I did." She said, staring at him even as he made no motion to return the favour, and her lie was bitter on her petal-pink lips.

"Where did you sleep last night? Hmm? Because you certainly weren't here." He asked and stated coldly, no sense of curiosity evident in his words, even as they poured out of him. He knew the answer, and no rejoin she gave would do anything to redeem her; truth or lie. If she lied about it, she would lose any trust in her that he had left and if she told the truth, the result would be the same. It was a battle she could not - and would not - win.

"I stayed at Ino's." She said weakly.

"There's no need to lie."

"I'm not lying."

"What if I told you that I didn't care, either way?" he said, finally looking up and piercing her with a heartless stare. She felt like a child beneath those obsidian orbs.

"Don't you?" she asked hopelessly. She felt no guilt, but hopelessness came to her with deafening ease.

"No. I don't."

"I see."

"Do you? Do you really?" He asked, and the contempt in his voice was almost palpable in the large kitchen.

"Yes, I do."

"So, you understand that any part of me that cared about you or what you do, died the minute you went home with that man?" he asked, knowing the answer before it came, as was customary with the Uchiha.

"I don't believe you. You still love me. You have to."

"And why is that?" Again, contemptuous.

"Because I'm your wife!" She spluttered urgently.

"You're only my wife when it suits you." He said, returning to his mission reports, writing calmly and with elegant strokes.

"That's not true!" Her desperation was stark in contrast to his lack of care.

"Tell me; were you thinking about being my wife when you were flat on your back beneath him, moaning like a whore?" The Uchiha said, knowing his flat tone made his words harsher to his wife's ears.

"Will you not even _try_ to understand why I did it?" she pleaded, tears threatening at the corners of her eyes. She held them fast, trying to maintain some form of dignity and strength, but her attempts were futile in the presence of Sasuke's judgement.

"I understand more than you think I do, _Blossom_." He sneered his usually loving moniker for her, tainting it with abhorrence.

"You hate me." She stated, hoping it wasn't true, but knowing that she deserved it if it was.

"No. I don't."

"Why not?" She asked, confused but feeling the beginnings of hope lighting its way through her desperation-filled mind.

"Because I am your husband and I made a vow. To have and to hold, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until _death_ do us part." He recited the words, as if reading them from an invisible script; emphasising 'death' to show that it was not infidelity that he vowed would part them.

Sakura noted, numbly, that those ultimatums spoke neither of adultery, nor of loving one's partner. One could hate them with a passion, and still stay true to the vows. She wondered if this was so for the man across from her, even though she couldn't say whether it was true for herself.

"You're only my husband when it suits you." She threw his words back at him, hoping they would hurt him as much as they had hurt her. She knew it was a weak move, but she had no other weapons in her arsenal.

"That's untrue. I have stayed your husband through all of your indiscretions. You just failed to notice. I believe you were too busy." He said evenly.

"Too busy being alone!" She shrieked.

"Your loneliness was your own doing, Sakura. I was right here, waiting for you to realize what you were destroying."

"What about all the fights? I sure as hell wasn't fighting with myself!" she moved forward, banging her hands on the table and displacing some of the reports with a _thud_.

"Weren't you?" He inquired of the report in front of him, a slight tilt of a neat black eyebrow the only indication that he was asking her.

"No!" She curled her hands, crumpling a few reports in the process.

"Well, in any case, you started fights unnecessarily. Did you ever hear me set off anything?" He asked, and the anger in his voice was subtle but rising with each moment.

"Are you going to blame _me_ for every fight? Are you going to tell me that you had no part in any of them?" Her rage was fuelled by his apparent nonchalance, as she failed to notice his mounting anger.

"No, I won't, but know this; the only thing I ever fought for was this marriage. Anything I ever did was to preserve what we had, _never_ to destroy it. Your actions successfully unravelled all my efforts. So, _well done_." His words were poison and his speech remained unanswered as Sakura digested it. Finally, after a pregnant pause, she spoke.

"I couldn't see it. Maybe it's not so great being the quiet one in this relationship, because I never know what you're thinking!" Moreover, in contrast, he seemed to always know what was on _her_ mind. It was mystifying to the kunoichi that she always thought that he didn't understand her, and now he was pouring out his knowledge of her and was hitting the bull's eye every time. He looked up and leaned back in his chair, the picture of tranquility. The only motion to give away his exasperation was the constant _tap tap tap_ of the pen in his hand on the wooden table. He gazed at her steadily, seeming to be looking at her very soul with those pitch-black eyes.

If he knew what she was feeling all this time, why did he never try to soothe her loneliness? Did he really not care? Had he tried and she'd just never noticed? The last thought made her blood run cold.

"I tried to show you what I was thinking and feeling through my actions, because you know that I can't express myself." Even though he seemed to be doing a perfectly good job of it at the current moment, and she processed slowly that her previous worry was coming true before her very eyes, "You think _I_ don't understand _you_? Well, imagine my surprise when I realized that it was actually the other way around." He put down his pen, and began rolling the report in front of him.

"I'm sorry." She said, and it was a half-truth; laced with anger and regret and hope and sorrow.

"But you don't feel guilty." He looked up at her momentarily.

"No."

"I see."

XXX

" _Mrs. Uchiha?" A quiet voice filtered through the Cherry Blossom's work-hazed mind._

" _Yes?" She said as she sat back and ran a hand over her tired face. There were mountains of papers piled all over her desk, and some had drifted to the floor over the course of the night. Sakura was pulling overtime to catch up on her paperwork and had spent the majority of her time filling out forms and completing reports._

" _I have a delivery for you." The small woman said, signs of aging tugging at the corners of her mouth._

" _From who?" She asked distractedly as she picked up another report and scanned it._

" _I'm not sure." The woman whispered, averting her eyes, even though the medic paid her no mind._

" _Strange," the green-eyed woman said, her attention not fully on the woman by the door, "just find a place to put it and shut the door on your way out, please." She gestured around the office with a dismissive hand._

" _Yes Ma'am." The nurse said politely and placed a white paper bag on a small pile of papers to the side of the Head Medic. She turned quietly, careful not to disturb the busy woman and exited the room, closing the door with a soft_ ' _click'._

_Sakura continued to read through the report, making notes and scratching out lines every so often. Once she was done, she looked at the paper bag and placed the report down slowly. Pulling the bag in front of her, she sat up straighter and peered inside. Within the slightly creased bag lay a container labelled 'Chicken Soup' and a polystyrene cup labelled 'Coffee/Black/One sugar'._

_The kunoichi smiled lazily, pulling out the containers and opening the first. She breathed in the mouth-watering smell of perfectly made chicken soup, straight from her favourite restaurant. She wracked her brain to think of the mysteriously generous procurer of her dinner, and came up with three options; Kakashi, Naruto or Sasuke._

_Deciding that she would ask all three of them whether they had delivered the food, she pulled out a plastic spoon that was hidden beneath the containers and shoveled the delicious meal into her mouth. She sighed as it hit her tongue, remembering quite suddenly that she had not eaten since the morning and it was nearly midnight. Once she was finished eating she yawned loudly, sucking air into her chest and feeling the synapses in her brain rejoice at the extra oxygen. She made a mental note that she would sleep like the dead when she returned home, and Kami help the poor soul that disturbed her._

_The smell of coffee filled her nose as she chugged the contents of the second container down unceremoniously. Tears formed in her eyes as the hot liquid seared her throat, but she found that she was too tired to care._

" _Enjoying your meal?" a deep voice asked, and she nearly jumped out of her seat at the sound. She gripped her chest to calm her heart and glanced at the now-open door. In the midst of her enjoyment of the welcome food, she had failed to notice the door opening and a figure standing and watching her. Her tall, dark and dashingly handsome husband now stood in the doorway, smiling lightly as he gazed upon his disheveled wife._

" _Sasuke! Was this you?" She gestured to the empty containers in front of her and smiled at him brightly, a touch of exhaustion fading the smile's brilliance. She pushed back from her desk and walked around it, leaning against the front of it as he walked towards her. She opened her arms out to him and he complied, stepping into her embrace warmly. She almost crumpled in his arms, fatigue winning the battle over discipline._

" _Yes, Blossom, I figured that you were too much of a workaholic to actually think about getting food. For a medic, you're terrible at watching your own health." He said into her neck, only a light scolding floating through his words._

" _Yeah, well, doctors make the worst patients," she said lightly, and then pulled herself out of the embrace to look him in the eyes, "but thank you, truly."_

_He shrugged and then kissed her lightly. It was a kiss that spoke of understanding, as he knew that she was tired and needed a sign that there was something waiting for her past the white walls of the hospital. He hugged her again, feeling her sag against him, and the silence of the hospital drifted around them, enveloping them in their own world. He was not a man of words, but rather a man of actions. It was his fatal flaw, never being able to express what he was feeling to the woman in his arms, or anyone else, for that matter. Despite this imperfection on his otherwise perfect score, he knew it mattered little._

_She knew he loved her._

XXX

A/N: (This is long, but I don't feel guilty about it. Please skip it if you don't want some insight into the story :O)

Well, this is awkward… I'm writing a story in which you don't know whether to choose Sasuke's side or not. Trust me; it's weird for me too. I usually make Sasuke the bad guy, the _terrible_ guy, actually. I guess it's a good change, maybe... I don't know. Let's just see what happens. Also, try not to hate Sakura too much; she's a very confused lady. Sometimes, when I'm trying to get inside her head, I get so confused with what she's supposed to be feeling that I have to step back, shake myself and then dive back in (but every confused emotion has a justifiable reason to it, you'll see…). Sasuke is easy; I know exactly where he stands. Kakashi, though not a huge part of the story, is there for moral support and Genma, poor, defenseless Genma, is my tool for destruction. I love that guy, you can make his character do anything, and it's ok, because he's like a puppy, you just can't hate him (unless you do, then you're a puppy-hater… just saying).

I'm hoping everyone is enjoying the story so far. Sorry it's so… uh… real? I don't know. There's no humour in it, which isn't surprising for my usual style, but is really surprising if you know me (because I make jokes out of everything, even puppy-haters… which was not my finest moment. . Ha…), and if you know me; discretion would be awesome (due to the lemons in the previous chapters).

No lemon in this chapter (Sorry to all the secret perverts out there), but it would have been distasteful and pointless to the story development.

 _Anyway_! I'm going to try and keep updating, but my schedule at the moment is jam packed with work. I can't resist the siren call of the computer these days, but either I become disciplined in my work or I fail my final year. So yeah, I'm going to go with… writing depressingly home-wrecking stories. Obviously. :/

Sorry for the long note, but it's the only time I get to actually voice Sorry for the long note, but it's the only time I get to actually voice _my_ opinions on the story.

Ok! As usual, please R&R! I love reading what you guys (girls) think!

Peace,

Snow/Teine.


	5. Faceless

Judge Not

XXX

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Naruto or any of its characters and make no profit from this fanfic.

A/N: This is rated M for a reason, so please, no children allowed and no sensitive readers This is unbeta-ed so please excuse any grammatical errors. (Longer A/N at the end)

XXX

**Chapter 5: Faceless**

XXX

She lay still, no movement except the slow rise and fall of her chest to give away that she was, indeed, alive. The room in which she lay was silent, not a single noise to interrupt her grief, save the shallow breaths that escaped her lips. She was tired, but too distraught to sleep and too sad to cry. So, she lay still, soaking in the silence, tasting the bitterness of being alone on her soul's tongue.

She didn't know what she was doing anymore, her mind too mystified to process anything. What had she done to her marriage? How had she not noticed that she was the sole reason for its demise? She was self-absorbed. Sasuke had been there the whole time and she was too caught up in her misconceptions of him to even discern it. Since she was a girl, she had created an image of him in her head; _this is Sasuke_ , and it didn't matter what he did, she would manipulate it to fit the image. She gave him a different persona and never allowed him to be himself. Sasuke was a cold man, she told herself, but she loved him, and so after a while, whether he was cold or not, it made no difference, because she told herself he was. Look past his heartlessness, she would say, even while he was showering her with kisses and bringing her hot meals when she worked late. Pay no mind to his silence, she said, even as his actions spoke louder than any words could. Ignore his selfishness, she would recite, even as he took more missions to make more money so that she would not have to work late nights anymore.

She had broken him apart and re-assembled him to her own liking, blind to the man he had become.

XXX

"Taking another mission?"An indolent voice asked, as its owner leaned against a doorframe in the ANBU Headquarters.

"Hn." The deep voice of Uchiha Sasuke intoned, "She needs time to think, so I'm giving it to her."

"You're running away," the Copy-Nin stated calmly.

"I have no reason to run away from her," the Uchiha said as he picked up his mission scroll and turned towards his ex-Sensei. They walked together, continuing their near-silent conversation, the effect of having two naturally quiet men converse.

"I never said it was her that you were running away from," Kakashi said with a lift of his eyebrow and the Uchiha smirked.

"That's very perceptive of you, Sensei. Are you only here to pick my brain, to find out what makes me _tick_ or do you have another purpose?" the Uchiha asked, only slightly defensive, as he knew that the man next to him was his wife's best friend.

"Just because I'm her best friend doesn't mean that I'll take her side when she does something wrong, you know," Kakashi said, as if reading Sasuke's mind, and ignoring his question. The Uchiha stopped walking and looked at the silver-haired man, no hint of amusement in either of their faces. Kakashi was serious; he would not enable Sakura in her plan of self-sabotage.

"Yes, I know. Will you help her, Kakashi?" Sasuke asked quietly, knowing that he could rely on the Copy-Nin to do whatever was necessary for his wife.

"I've tried; she will not listen to me." Kakashi sighed, running a hand through his hair in a sign of frustration.

"She says she doesn't feel guilty," Sasuke said as he carried on walking down the hallway, until they came upon the entrance to the building and stepped out into the chilly autumn wind.

"Do you believe her?" The older man asked as the breeze whipped at his hair fiercely.

"No. Sakura is a creature of guilt, she takes everything that goes wrong as her own fault and works her hardest to rectify it, whether it was her doing or not. There is no way that she can do something like this and not sink into her familiar ways." Sasuke said calmly, as if giving a report, and Kakashi lifted an eyebrow at the surprising insight that the man had into his wife.

"You're right, but that doesn't explain her adamant denial of it."

"She is also a creature prone to immovable stubbornness." Sasuke said with a lift of the corner of his mouth, the fondness for the woman he married suddenly apparent.

"This is true…" Kakashi chuckled lightly, even though the topic of their discussion warranted no humour, he paused after that, his expression becoming sober and he turned to the dark man next to him before asking, "What about Genma?" he feared the answer more than he could say.

"What about him?" Sasuke retorted, knowing what Kakashi meant, but not willing himself to answer just yet.

"Never mind…" the Copy-Nin hedged, not wanting to stir the pot or put Genma in the Uchiha's line of fire.

"I have no quarrel with that man, he reacted in an understandable way and my wife can be very… persistent when she wants something." The Uchiha said evenly, no hint of a lie in his words. Kakashi sighed in relief, content that his friend would be safe from the man, despite his misconduct.

"Yes, she is a very pushy woman. I still don't understand her denial, though. It makes no sense to me. If someone like Genma can admit that he's guilty, which he has, then why not her?" the silver-haired man asked quizzically.

"She thought she had to stand against me, to do something reckless and she knew that her guilt would eat her alive, so she buried it. What she doesn't realize is that even as she cannot feel her it, it is still there and still gnawing at her." He sounded like an extremely cold psychologist, but Kakashi nodded, finding that he made perfect sense. He could describe Sakura and her inner workings with an impressive ease that both shocked and inspired the Copy-Nin. There was a pause and then Sasuke spoke again.

"Do you think she still loves me, Kakashi?" he asked, and he sounded like a wrongdoer, as if he had committed Sakura's act of betrayal in her place. The preternaturally slouching man was confused, he didn't expect such a question from the proud Uchiha, he was suddenly like a child, asking an adult for help, with a quivering lip. Although Sasuke's lip was not - in fact - quivering, he still had a childish look of hope in his eyes.

"I'm sure of it. The question is this; do you still love _her_ after what she's done to you?" Kakashi asked and turned his head to wait for a reply as they walked. Sasuke's rejoin was instant, showing that he had already pondered the very same question any number of times.

"Yes, I still love her, but it's very difficult to love someone that does not love herself. They tend to take their own self-loathing and try to make it yours," he paused then, and after a slow sigh continued, "she asked me if I hate her," he said, and Kakashi lifted an eyebrow in question.

"What did you tell her?" he asked, curiosity evident in his tone.

"I told her I don't."

"Is that true?"

"No," another pause, "honestly, I hate her for what she's done to herself."

"But you don't hate _her_ , just what she's done," there was a slight inclination of a question, but it passed by the Uchiha, who took it as a statement.

"I can't hate her. I lived most of my life hating everyone, it ruined me and Sakura was the only good thing in my life, the only person that gave me what I needed, instead of what I wanted. So no, I can't hate her, it would devastate everything, if I did. As long as I keep my love and faith in her love, we will survive." He seemed so certain in this, that it was hard to disagree with him. The Copy-Nin was sure that their marriage was far-gone, but if the Uchiha could keep his faith in them, then he sure as hell could. The dark-haired man spoke again, this time a hint of regret followed.

"I say horrible things to her, you know, things that I know hurt her. I say them _because_ they hurt her. I feel so disgusted with myself after we have those fights, but I can't keep a hold on my reason when she walks into the room. I want to explode with anger and sorrow, and then, when I see her starting to cry because of me, I just want to hold her, but I don't, because she has to suffer through this. She has to understand that if she continues in this way, I won't be with her anymore." He said sadly, and Kakashi listened intently, stunned at how forthcoming the Uchiha was being, "I can only be the accepting husband for so long, I have a soul too, and it's not as strong as one would think. It weeps every time she goes to that man for comfort and cracks every time she lies."

XXX

" _Do you, Uchiha Sasuke, take Haruno Sakura as your beloved wife, to have and to hold, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" the clear voice of Tsunade rang out across the open field where several people were seated in rows. Cherry blossoms drifted through the air in thousands, flying off the hundreds of sakura trees that filled the field, and the petals coated the ground in a cover of soft pinks and whites. Sakura stood next to the dark man, a white gown clutching her frame and a train running behind her in quiet waves of silk and lace. Her waist-length pink hair was curled in waves down her back, and a soft veil covered her face with a lace-detail running along the hem._

" _I do." Sasuke's deep voice sounded, quiet but certain, and Sakura's heart soared. He placed a silver band on her wedding finger; it had a delicate branch of sakura blossoms etched around it, and on the inside of the band read the words: 'Never forget'._

" _And do you, Haruno Sakura, take Uchiha Sasuke as your beloved husband, to have and to hold, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" The Godaime asked again, looking at Sakura with loving, almost motherly, eyes. The green-eyed woman smiled, looking into Sasuke's dark orbs with eternal love._

" _I do." She said firmly, elation lifting her words. She slipped a similar silver band onto his finger, this one embedded with the same sakura branch, but a thin band running through the middle, the branch entwining itself around the line. It was a symbol of sakura becoming a part of his life, forever. The words on the inside of the band were the same, reminding him never to forget their bond._

" _Well then, Mr. Uchiha, you may now kiss your bride," Tsunade said happily, raising her arms in a gesture of excitement._

_Sasuke lifted Sakura's veil slowly and then curled his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him and then leaning forward and capturing her lips in a soft but desperate kiss. She sighed into the embrace, returned the kiss with a passion that would be inappropriate were it not for the situation, and smiled brightly once he released her._

" _Hokage-sama, if you don't mind, I have a few words that I would like to say," the Uchiha said calmly, grasping his new wife's hands in his own and never looking at the busty woman beside him as he asked. The Hokage made a noise of acceptance and Sasuke cleared his throat, preparing himself to deliver his personal vows._

" _Uchiha Sakura," he started, and the Cherry Blossom's smile burned even brighter, "you are my light, the sun when I am in shadow, my beauty when all is ugly, my hope when I have none and my life when I want to succumb to the siren call of death. I will stay with you through all the struggles, and never let you wander. When you find yourself lost, look to the side and that's where I'll be, your northern star, guiding you, always. And when death do us part, if there's no one beside you, I'll grasp your hand in mine and follow you to nirvana."_

_Tears rushed down Sakura's face, leaving a darkened trail over her blush-stained cheeks. She laughed quietly through the tears and then threw her arms around the man that had just whispered to her soul, clutching him ardently. The sounds of sniffs and quiet applause were lost on the couple as they stood embracing amidst a flurry of petals, bathing them in pink and white._

" _I love you, Sasuke, never forget that."_

_XXX_

"Sakura, go back to your husband. We can't do this anymore, " Genma said stiffly, not meeting her eyes and only the wilt of his eyebrows to show his perturbation.

"I won't! You can't tell me that this meant nothing to you! I see it in your eyes! You love me!" She screamed, tears flowing freely and reddening her eyes in their intensity. Her desperation overwhelmed her anger as she found herself breaking apart in his small apartment. He made no move to comfort her, though the twitch in his fingers spoke otherwise.

"I don't. This was just a fling, it was meaningless." He struggled to maintain his indifference, but held onto a single thought that kept him sane, and in his mind, he saw a flash of white hair, "Please, just leave." He begged, and she looked up at him. Her inconsolable pain was seared into her features, and would remain burned into his eyes until his inevitable death, and maybe even after. She paused, as if to speak, but then turned abruptly and left his apartment with an earth-shattering bang of the front door. The bash resounded in his ears, symbolic of the death toll that his only love had just made. It burned him to his very core, and he struggled to remain upright as a voice spoke behind him.

"It's for the best, Genma." The indolent, but serious voice said, pain evident in the words. Kakashi didn't like to see his two closest friends hurting so much, but this was something he had to do.

"It didn't have to be so unexpected. I could have done it more softly." Genma said weakly, feeling the torrent of dread that was floating above him, ready to drench him in guilt and regret over hurting the only woman he had ever loved.

"There was no other way; you had to hurt her to set her free."

"She'll never forgive me."

"That may be so, but you gave her back her life." Kakashi said sadly.

"And what about _my_ life?" Genma turned suddenly to face the man behind him, tears dripping from his eyes and anger bubbling to the surface, "When do I get _that_ back? Tell me, Kakashi!"

"I don't know."

"I may have given back her life, but you just took mine away from me. I hope you're happy." He said poisonously.

"I have a feeling that this will haunt me for a long time, but that's a price I'm willing to pay, and I'm sorry that I had to hurt you in the process. It was necessary." Kakashi said, his voice never breaking, but the weight of his sorrow resting on him like a devil on his shoulder.

"Necessary for _what_? Necessary to throw her back into the arms of a man who doesn't _love_ her? What kind of friend are you, that you can watch her with him, _knowing_ she's unhappy?" he spat the words out, feeling the need to add more fuel to the fire that was Kakashi's guilt.

"You obviously know very little about that marriage and that man."

"I know all I need to know, and that is that Sakura came to _me_ when she needed comfort, _not_ him!"

"You are sadly misinformed," he retorted evenly and then continued, "I'll leave you now." The Copy-Nin turned to leave the apartment. He stepped onto the landing and clicked the door shut just as he heard a dull _thud_ and the unmistakable sounds of heart wrenching sobs. He shut his eyes tightly, willing his overbearing feelings of regret to disappear with the rest of his repressed emotions and memories. He had watched Genma break his best friend's heart from the other room, using his keen senses to hear the conversation and feel the spikes in chakra. Sakura had not noticed him in her over-emotional state, and for that, he was grateful. It was a selfish move, but he knew that if she found out that he had a hand in ending her affair she would hate him and run back to Genma, knowing that he had lied about not loving her, and the brown-eyed man was too in love to deny her a second time.

He sighed and made his way out of the apartment building, remembering Sakura's screams and cries as her world fell apart, and Genma's despair when he'd finally dropped his apathetic façade. It was burnt into his mind's eye like a blister, unlikely to ever fade.

This was the hardest day he had had in a while; from the minute he'd approached Genma and told him to end it (or else) to the second he'd left that apartment. It was severe heartache, but it was necessary.

"It seems I'm a murderer of love as well."

XXX

She wandered the streets, lost beyond discovery and clutching at her chest as if it would split apart should her hold falter. There were no tears now, her eyes too pained to produce any and her emotions too distraught to conjure up a single solid emotion. She flickered through dozens of sensations, never fully resting on one. She couldn't even bring herself to focus on Genma's distant features as he's told her that he didn't love her. Where would she turn now? Her last place of comfort had just vanished and she didn't know where her feet were carrying her until she came upon her home, the Uchiha Compound looming over her like a great wave, ready to engulf her with its sheer presence. _Hokusai_ , they called it.

She walked through the compound until she came upon the main house, tentatively unlocking the front door and sliding it open with a quiet _whoosh_. She entered and slipped off her shoes, placing them next to a pair of Sasuke's. He was home. Her heart gave a missed beat, almost launching itself into her throat, but it seemed to be just as drained of energy as she was, and so remained firmly in her chest, beating fast.

The house was bathed in the lazy afternoon sun, often found in autumn, and it filtered through the windows in great waves, drowning every room in deep oranges. The furniture threw silhouetted shadows over the floorboards, seeming to elongate the rooms as if they were stretching their weary bodies. The kunoichi stepped into the living room, casting a shadow of her own and, making her way through the vast area slowly, tried to discern where Sasuke was. She widened her chakra senses and felt the warm stab of another person jabbing at the radius of her chakra field. She contained a terrified shiver and made her way to the bedroom, where her husband was sitting on the edge of their massive bed and strapping his leg guards on to complete his ANBU uniform. His cat mask lay abandoned on the dresser, the dark lines that ran from the eyes down to the base of the mask, like tears, were the only un-cat-like feature of its design. He didn't look up as she stood at the entrance to the room, leaning heavily on the doorframe, not in an act of nonchalance but rather from the weight of all the emotions swirling through her body.

She didn't know what to say, didn't know if he would even listen, so she just remained quiet and watched him as he completed his task in with ever-present diligence. A plethora of thoughts shot through her brain; things to say, things to do, things _not_ to do and she could not decide which would be suitable for the decidedly awkward and strained situation she found herself in, while in her own home. It was a dilemma, to say the least, and she felt the burden of the tears she had cried pressing on her eyes, begging them to close and give them some respite. She fought the urge, and simply stood, like a stranger in her own skin, watching a man that surely hated her for all she'd done. She wondered suddenly if things would be easier if he could just read her mind, to understand her better, to _know_ that she loved him, even when her actions spoke on the contrary.

It had dawned on her, like the rising sun, while she was trudging her way through the biting-wind that filled every street in Konoha; she loved her husband. It was the thickest thought she had ever had to wrap around her brain, it made her shudder with realisation and mentally berate herself with the obviousness of it all. Why would she have married him if she didn't love him? The ring on her finger was a testament to their love, and even now as she twirled it absent-mindedly, she remembered her wedding day and the way Sasuke had looked at her, pouring his soul out to her on the white pedestal they had stood on, the sakura blossoms covering them like a shroud. She glanced at his left hand, searching for the ring, but found his hand and arm covered in the signature ANBU glove. Her heart plummeted at the thought that maybe he had taken it off, trying to give her a sign that it was really over. She remembered all the things he had said to her that would be evidence of the demise of their marriage and she gasped lightly.

The small sound made the Uchiha look up from his undertaking. He had been studiously ignoring his wife, but he felt her presence intensely, as if she were standing right next to him, leaning on his shoulder and begging him not to leave, just as she had in the past. When they were newly-weds and in love. He raked his eyes over form, from her dusty shoes to her shapely his and finally staring into her eyes, and he was shocked to find them raw and bloodshot, as if she had been crying for days. He suppressed the shock and nodded to her indifferently before returning to his uniform.

"Are you leaving?" She asked, as if it weren't obvious by his attire.

"Hn." He said in a sound of non-commitment. She took it as a 'yes' and her shoulders slumped in defeat, even as a hint of relief filtered into her mind.

"How long will you be gone?" she asked.

"About two nights." He replied shortly.

"I see." She rejoined and then continued, "Can we talk when you get back?"

"If you want." He acquiesced.

Finally, he stood up and straightened his uniform. Once he was satisfied that it was crease-free he reached for his mask and strapped it to the top of his head firmly. Sakura would never forget the first time she had seen him in his ANBU paraphernalia; it had taken her breath away and she had stared at him for a long time, burning each detail into her mind. It was a beautiful thing to see a man, so strong and muscled, adorned in a uniform so sleek and agile. Once he had painted his mask and put it over his strong features, the man she knew had disappeared, replaced by a stranger, but even when her husband was traded in for this masked killer she would hold faith in knowing that beneath that simple painted face resided the man she loved. He would look at her through the eyeholes and she would breathe out a sigh of relief, knowing that he was still in there and that he loved her. The uniform of a trained assassin would engulf Sasuke's persona, replacing it with a man that was just a faceless copy among faceless copies, and she feared for him every time he walked over the threshold of their entrance and waved at her with an untroubled hand; as if to say 'you know I'll be back, so stop worrying'. She worried all the same, wondering what frightful things her husband was being made to do in service to his village hidden in the leaves.

He stepped toward the door and she moved out of the way, his scent drifting over her in a wave. It was soap and nature, metal and leaves. She wondered why she had forgotten what he smelled like and how things had changed so much that his fragrance hit her now, as if for the first time. He continued down the hallway, Sakura trailing him like a lost puppy, and into the orange-bathed living room, traversing the space smoothly, only the light padding of his feet and the soft rustle of clothing to indicate his movement. He entered the kitchen and picked up the katana that was lying, sheathed, on the table. After unsheathing the blade and inspecting it, he put it back in its cover, obviously pleased with its condition, and strapped it to his back in one swift motion. She watched him from the wide arch-entrance to the kitchen and said nothing. Her mind was too busy on the memories of their past - how they had been so infatuated with each other and how silences like these never used to be awkward.

He passed her silently, walking towards the entrance and slipping into his shoes, and still she followed him. The Cherry Blossom wasn't sure what she was hoping to accomplish by trailing him but she knew that she had to. Maybe he would give her some sign that he hadn't lost his hope. The tables had turned, and Sakura could barely contain her shudder at the irony. She went to a lover for warmth when her husband was cold and she went to her husband for comfort when her lover broke her heart. It was selfish beyond anything she had ever done. Genma had crushed her and, in the recesses of her mind, she knew that he had done it for her, but now she only found solace when she was near Sasuke. Despite all reason, she couldn't help herself from being broken-hearted, even when she'd seen the regret in those brown eyes, in spite of all his efforts to remain detached.

Finally, Sasuke grabbed the small pack that was resting against a nearby wall, the bare-essentials. He turned to look at her, as she leaned against another wall, watching him demurely. Their eyes met and she looked away from him, finding the wood grain of the floorboards infinitely more reassuring. She chanced a glance up at him and he had turned towards the door. She opened her mouth to speak, to say something before he left, and possibly never came back. The fear clutched at her, but she silenced herself, finding no words. He lifted his hand, in the same composed way that he used to, turning his head only slightly to look at her over his shoulder. She released a breath of relief, as if Atlas had returned from his lunch-break and just taken the world off her shoulders. She lifted a small hand and the tiniest of smiles followed it, as if she were waving at a kind stranger and not the man with whom she had shared the most intimate of experiences.

He slid the door open and exited the house without a word.

XXX

It's funny how life works out sometimes. Love turns to hate, friends become lovers, lovers become betrothed and a husband and wife become strangers. It's like the turning of the seasons, the progress is slow, but it happens nonetheless. Love, like leaves that were once green and brimming with life, becomes dry and ashen and then disappears altogether. The lucky ones are those that remember that summer will come again, once the snow has fallen and the winter has passed, the spring will rejuvenate the leaves and the summer of life will return. If you can survive the winter, you can survive anything.

A broken heart can do many things. It can heal, it can close, it can harden or, just as easily as it pumps blood, it can flood with rage. A broken-hearted man will do many things to achieve one of these states of being. In order to heal the tear, he might take several lovers until he finds one to patch up the puncture. In order to close his world to those of the female persuasion, he might turn to alcohol. In order to harden the curves of his heart, he might become impervious to womanly wiles. In order to become angry, he might fight everything, until there's nothing left.

The news came like a bolt of lightning, shooting through Sakura's mind and earthing itself in her heart. She fell to her knees in the middle of the hospital corridor, clutching her chest and feeling her heart beating loudly but slower with each passing second.

_Thud_

_Thud_

_Thud_

_Thud_

Her vision went blank, finding peace in the white noise, and it was so much easier to think that none of this had ever happened and she was still sleeping serenely next to Sasuke, back when they were still in love. This was no dream, however, and when her mind cleared, she was staring at the linoleum floor and Kakashi's sandaled feet were still in front of her. He had not offered a single word of consolation nor any embrace to subdue her shaking frame. He stared at her, an accusation lighting his eye, and he never wavered in his gaze, even as she looked up at him with pleading jade. He simply turned on his heel and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Her breath came out in short, shallow gasps and the truth of the fact lapped at her thoughts like a rising tide, and it was a slow ebb and flow of comprehension. A desperate scream ripped from her throat, echoing down the hallway, bouncing off the walls and retreating into the corners. Not a single face turned towards the noise, choosing rather to give the fragmenting woman her space and dignity, as she clutched at herself on the polished floor. Her warped reflection looked back at her on the shined surface, becoming an ink stain of pink and white.

Genma was dead.

XXX

A/N:

Oh no, what have I done?

This is going to open up a whole new can of worms, which means that there are probably going to be about 2 or 3 more chapters, but I'm not sure yet.

I hope you're all enjoying the story so far, I'm sorry if you aren't but as I say 'you can't please everyone' and that's ok. If I can make one person love this story, then my job is done :D

I'm kinda mourning Genma at the moment, but don't worry, there will be many Genma/Sakura flashbacks in the next chapter, to confuse you even more about who's side to choose. Kakashi's character is very… teacher-y in this story, but I guess he can't always be the suddenly sensitive and wonderful lover that I usually write and read about. For now, he is the guy in the shadows, that's helping Sakura but slowly losing his faith in her.

I quite like the wedding, although it looked so much more beautiful in my head. If I ever figure out exactly how to put down what I envisioned then I'll edit this chapter, until then, that's all I could muster. If you're wondering why Sasuke all of a sudden became all deep and whatnot in his extra-vows, well that's because… I made him that way and his speech was so beautiful *cries*. Also because I'm trying to show that Sasuke wasn't cold about his love for Sakura, it really is/was there. And people are always super cheesy on their wedding days! Gah! *takes a breath*.

If you've never read it, you should check out _**Sonnet 116**_ by William Shakespeare, it fits this story in my mind so well. I couldn't stop thinking about it while I was writing this chapter.

Thanks for the reviews so far – they mean a lot to me! Really, I love each and every one of them

Peace,

Snow/Teine.


	6. Snowflake

**Judge Not**

XXX

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Naruto or any of its characters and make no profit from this fanfic.

A/N: This is rated M for a reason, so please, no children allowed and no sensitive readers This is unbeta-ed so please excuse any grammatical errors. (Longer A/N at the end)

XXX

**Chapter 6: Snowflake**

XXX

She sat next to his body in the morgue, her warm hands grasping his cold one. He had not yet had his autopsy and so his body was still riddled with cuts and dried blood. She felt his fingers in hers, and they offered no movement or warmth. They were rough and calloused, evidence of his shinobi lifestyle. She lowered her head and rested it on his muscled arm, remembering how this very arm had cradled her head when she lay next to him. She lifted her pink head and rested her eyes on the large opening in the middle of his chest; it was crisp from the shock that had jolted through him, with little run offs of burnt skin spreading around the hole like a halo of tiny, black cracks. The current had taken his heart, leaving him hollow.

She let out a sob and curled her lips, trying to maintain her weeps, but failed as her chin shivered and she pressed a hand over her eyes as the cries rippled out of her. She squeezed his hand harder and felt it give no resistance to her strength. The broken woman bent her head down once more, her hand still covering her eyes, and rested it on his arm again. The tears flowed freely, dripping down her face and through her fingers to land on the body's arm. In the silent and empty room, her sobs filled ever corner and shadow, the bright fluorescent light, shining above the table upon which he lay, cast her features in relief and showed every detail of his death in an image so stark that it would be forever ingrained in her memories.

Memories were all she had now. Never again would she see his face light up in a smile around his senbon, hear his lewd laugh when she whispered dirty nothings to him in bed, or feel his hands grasping her skin desperately, flesh against flesh. All she could do was remember. In her distraught state, she started talking to him, as if he were there to listen, as if his eyes weren't closed, his ears deaf and his heart ripped from his chest.

"I'm so sorry… this is my fault…" she said with a whimper, her voice barely audible as it shook under the weight of her sobs. In her mind she could almost imagine what he would say to her, were he there. She could almost see his cheeky smile and his masculine hand reaching out to cup her face softly, while looking at her with those deep brown eyes, telling her something he was too afraid to voice.

_Babe, don't be silly. This one's on me_. As if he were offering to pay for her round of drinks.

"I never meant for it to get so out of hand. If I'd never come on to you in the bar, you'd be alive."

_I'm a shinobi, our lives are never a sure thing. I would have died soon anyway._

"You would never have taken that mission just to get away from me..."

_I would have been running from another woman, or her husband…_

"You wouldn't have fallen in love with me…."

_I don't regret a thing._

"I wouldn't have fallen in love with you…"

_It couldn't be helped._

"I found love again…"

_You taught me how to love._

"I helped you die…"

_You helped me live._

"I'm so sorry…"

_Don't be._

XXX

" _Sakura! Get out of the shower already! Your breakfast is getting cold!" Genma's voice bounced through the small apartment, reaching the ears of the pink-haired woman lathering herself in the small shower and she huffed out a laugh at his impatience._

" _Looking good takes time, you know" she said as she walked into the kitchen, a towel wrapped like a turban around her wet hair and her face flushed from the hot water. She had confiscated one of his big, black Jounin shirts and thrown it over her body. The newly cleaned woman had an amused smile on her petal lips and a glint of the same amusement in her eyes. Genma stood leaning against the counter in his long gray pajama pants and nothing else but a joshing smile._

" _Well, with the amount of time you spent in there, you should look like a goddess by now," he said mockingly and dodged the hair towel that she threw at him with a laugh. He gestured for her to sit down at the table in the center of the cramped kitchen and she obeyed, seating herself with a huff, sending little droplets cascading from her wet hair. He placed a cup of coffee in front of her and she smiled up at him, taking in the delicious scent of the cinnamon that he had added to the mix, knowing that it was her favourite._

" _Thank you," she said lovingly as he then slid a plate of crispy French toast and syrup in front of her. He had a simple bowl of cereal, as he preferred the milky oats to anything sweet in the morning. He had seated himself across from her and was sipping his own coffee (without cinnamon) and watching her fondly as she ate her toast with a childlike amount of excitement. He smiled into his coffee cup as she wiped the back of her hand over her mouth when she was done, coating it in syrup. She licked her fingers and laughed when she noticed him watching her, a blush of embarrassment leaking into her cheeks._

" _You eat like an animal," he said and laughed, the sound filling the kitchen and seeming to make the morning light burn even brighter in the small room. She smiled sheepishly and tried to kick him under the table, but missed by an inch. He said the same thing every time she ate with anything other than lady-like poise and every time she would find a different retort, whether it be threats of violence or dirty innuendos._

" _I can't always be a lady, you know," she said, rolling her eyes, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world._

" _I think my neighbours would agree that you are anything but a lady. There's still a dent in my bedroom wall," he said, looking in the direction of his room unseeingly and then smiling again, this time with more lecherous intent than true amusement. She blushed and then downed her coffee in one fell swoop._

" _What your neighbours don't know is that the girlish screams they hear aren't mine," she retorted boldly and then smiled with a sugary sweetness. He almost choked on his coffee as he spluttered and looked up at her._

" _That was one time! It never happened again! Why would you even bring something like that up at breakfast!" he almost squealed in outrage and embarrassment, earning a raucous laugh from Sakura. She stood up and moved over to him, swaying her hips sensually before turning his chair to face her and bending at the waist, a hand on either thigh. She looked at him with something akin to lust, love and humour, pushing her face closer to his until her lips were brushing his. He dropped the toothpick that was dangling precariously from his lips and closed his eyes, preparing himself for the kiss that would come. Instead of giving it to him, she spoke onto his lips, teasing him._

" _Don't worry, I know you're very… manly," she accented the last word with a bite to his lower lip, earning a groan from the man in front of her. He leaned forward then and captured her lips hungrily, the taste of coffee, cinnamon and syrup mingling into a delicious plethora of flavours on their tongues._

_The pinkette woman lifted her hands to his firm shoulders and placed herself in his lap, straddling his thighs. The black Jounin shirt did little to separate her otherwise naked body from his pajama-covered lap, where a bulge was already starting to form. She moaned into the kiss when she seated herself over the bulge and rocked slightly with her hips. He deepened the kiss, sinking his fingers into her pink hair and gripping tightly to hold her mouth firmly against his. After a moment of passion-induced kissing they parted, the need for air stinging their lungs. Sakura rested her forehead against his and breathed heavily, her breath fanning over his cheeks in a flurry of coffee and cinnamon, and then she spoke._

" _I didn't complain about the way you eat last night…" she said, voice thick with innuendo, as she accentuated the 'you' with a shallow thrust._

" _If I remember correctly you were too busy moaning my name to complain," he retorted sharply and with a toothy but overconfident smile. She rocked her hips again, rubbing their bodies together in a sharp thrust that made him throw his head back and groan. She remembered the way his head had been trapped between her thighs, her fingers entwined in his brown locks, urging him closer, deeper and harder. She moaned at the thought and then at the friction they were creating. She bit her lip in an attempt to swallow the moan, but it came out in full force when he bucked his hips upwards, effectively crushing the hard bulge between his legs against her hot core. He growled at the feeling and gripped her hips to aid in the motion._

" _Genma… I need you… now," she moaned through shallow pants, the desire in her voice ill concealed as one of her hands wound its way into his hair while the other stayed firmly rooted on his shoulder. He growled again and grasped her hips tighter as he stood with her still in place, her legs wrapping around his waist instinctively. He walked to the counter and placed her on the edge, close enough that their bodies were still rubbing against each other in a luscious contact._

_He was inside her before she had time to finish her thoughts and massaging her body from the inside in a repetitious movement. She gasped at the sudden invasion and then gripped his shoulder tightly, digging her nails into his skin to gain purchase. He buried his face in the curve of her neck and shoulder, feeling her wet hair lapping at his face, but not caring. She smelled like flowers and clean humidity, he noted dully, as he breathed in her scent and pounded against her. She threw her head back in delight as he moved against her, wrapping her legs tighter, bringing him closer and deeper. The Cherry Blossom was hardly on the counter, having slid to the very edge in their motion, but gripping Genma's hips tightly with her toned legs, which kept her upright and sheathed on him._

_Their motions became erratic as they raced to oblivion, feeling the end coming nearer. She released a shaky cry as he moved deeper and harder inside her, raking her nails along the scarred skin on his shoulders. He growled into her neck, his breath coming out in fast pants and she pulled him tighter. Finally, the pressure became too much and she screamed out his name, trembling desperately as her orgasm washed over her in a great wave. He let out a cry as he joined her over the edge, his short nails digging into the skin of her hip and thigh, sure to leave a bruise. He threw his head back slightly as a look of pure bliss covered his face, his mouth opening in a silent scream._

_They came down from their high, the brown-haired man resting his head on her shoulder as she rested her head against the cupboard behind her, breathing hard and not being able to focus her eyes yet. She ran a hand absently up his back and over his shoulders. No words were needed; they both knew where the other stood, completely engulfed in the dysfunctional world that they had created for themselves. A lazy smile snaked onto her face as their breathing slowed and he pulled out of her, still gripping her hips, lest she fall. Her legs shook with the effort of remaining on the counter. He pushed her back on the ledge until she was fully seated and then pulled back to look into her emerald eyes. She gazed at him sluggishly, the contented smile still plastered on her face, and a silent thought passed between them._

_I love you._

_X_ XX

She'd stayed with him for hours, crying until she had no more tears, holding him until she had no more strength and speaking to him until she had no more words. When the door to the morgue opened quietly and the aging medic walked in, giving her a tentative smile, she looked up with bloodshot eyes. Her face was pale under the light and her knuckles white from holding on for so long. He told her that he had to begin the autopsy and that she could not stay.

She had lifted herself from the chair on shaking legs and leaned forward over the pallid corpse, timidly placing a kiss on his dead lips and remembering how they used to reciprocate so passionately. A lone tear leaked from her abused eye and rolled down her cheek to meet at the join of their lips. She parted from him reluctantly and turned from his body, ignoring the old man as he began preparing the body to be examined. She left the morgue quietly, walking like a soul without purpose to the upper levels of the hospital and along the windy streets and through the Uchiha Compound and into her home, until finally, she collapsed on her large bed. She had never felt so alone, and the shadows that encompassed her body, as the minutes ticked by, only served to emphasize her solitude.

She slept the sleep of the dead, dreamless and unmoving. All her memories would haunt her when she woke and did not bother with weighing down her dreams.

XXX

" _Will you tell me why?" a quiet voice spoke in the near-silent bedroom. The moonlight filtered into the room in a solid stream, soaking their bodies in muted light, leaving them with the appearance of ethereal statues, the only movement being the slow rise and fall of their chests. He spoke to the ceiling, watching the shadows dance across the white surface in a lazy waltz. The pink-haired woman draped across his torso shifted slightly, her hair fanned out in a moonlight-washed halo around her features._

" _Why what?" she asked sleepily, not fully taking in his question._

" _Why you don't feel guilty," he said calmly, wondering if she would get angry with him for asking, the tempo of his heart increasing with the fear._

" _I don't feel it, but it's there… waiting for me," she said, shocking the man into silence at her calm reply. He had expected rage and screaming, but was met with complete poise and reason instead. He huffed out a relieved breath. She spoke of the guilt as if it were a living being, lying dormant within her, waiting to attack. He shuddered at the thought that the woman he loved was living with this beast inside her, just like Naruto's Demon Fox, and it was silently driving her, even though she refused to acknowledge its presence._

" _What'll you do when it comes out?" he asked, speaking of the beast just as she had. It was the undercurrent that appeared in every conversation, every bout of lovemaking and every shared glance. It flickered in her eyes like a lit candle and often controlled her words like she were bound with a leash._

" _It won't," she said, absolute certainty in her voice._

" _How can you be so sure?" he asked, stunned by her confidence._

" _Because I won't let it," she said as if it were obvious, "with enough will-power, I can ignore it until it goes away completely."_

_He didn't reply, not sure his voice would carry the sureness that she needed, and so he just lay tangled in the sheets, thinking about her words and knowing that the beast would never leave her and that it would slowly consume her. He ran a hand along her smooth back, earning a hum from the woman and he shut his eyes._

_His dreams would be filled with red-eyed beasts and sakura blossoms in equal parts._

_Xxx_

_It was one of the coldest days on the border of Leaf, one that would be documented for years to come. The vapour rose from cracked lips like smoke from a dying fire and frozen bodies moved unsettled from point to point, struggling to keep watch through the haze of chilled synapses. Hushed conversations barely made it to muffled ears and irritation died sooner than it could be shown. A curse or two could be heard here and there, exclamations of discomfort accentuated by puffs of ghostly white._

_Two huddled bodies sat, wrapped in coats of the thickest wool and yet their bodies groaned at the heat that rapidly escaped them. No words were exchanged, no glances given and each tried their damnedest to ignore the presence of the other and yet, with these conscious acts of forced-nonchalance weighing over them, they both found solace in the comforting presence of their oldest friend._

_Frost-tipped silver hair swayed slightly in the stabbing but subtle breeze and an icicle-senbon clicked lightly against chattering teeth. A sigh tumbled from orally-fixated lips and nervous brown eyes shifted uneasily towards a masked face. The shattered shinobi knew that somewhere in the camp, a brooding prodigy was sitting and pouring over maps and strategies - unnecessarily, as every plan had already been adjusted and refined. The truth of his presence unsettled the brown-haired shinobi and this anxiousness was apparent even through the chill._

_Above all the anxiousness, however, was the ever-present burn of a broken heart - its sheer presence a constant ache, that reminded him every minute of every day that he had destroyed the one and only love he would ever have. That knowledge alone was enough to etch a permanent scar of pain into the corners of his eyes, never to be smoothed, not even by the softest of caresses._

_Everyday actions had become tainted by a perpetual slump, his usual confidence gone altogether. It was a sobering sight to behold; the lifeless corpse of a once vibrant man trudging where he once strutted and mumbling in place of assertion._

_The broken man had found, as he sat before the sizzling, spluttering logs of the fire, that he could think of no reason to continue with the pointless motions of his life. When he thought of the home he was to return to, he saw empty rooms and even emptier promises; of meaningless philandering and drunken brawls._

_Being far away from his cold bed and the woman he thought of endlessly gave him time to think. This thinking brought him to the conclusion that he no longer wanted to be on this earth, in this place where some men found love and had it ripped from them while others had love and ignored it. The gaping hole in his chest left him listless and weary to the bone._

_Once again, he glanced at his masked counterpart and this time Kakashi returned the gesture, a deep-seated guilt marring his visible eye and pain pulling his outlined lips down at the corners. He raised an eyebrow at the question in Genma's eyes, bewilderment mixing with concern._

" _Can I make a request of you, Kakashi?" the brown-haired shinobi asked and Kakashi's eyebrow lifted further into his hairline, but he acquiesced and nodded almost imperceptibly._

" _Kill me", Genma said, his face betraying nothing but complete sincerity. The Copy-nin could do nothing to hide the total shock written on his face. Then, with sudden clarity, his face crumpled as the realization of what he had done fell on him with the weight of a thousand tons. His intervention had resulted in the depression of his oldest friend, and when he had thought he was justified in his actions he had failed to see the inevitable consequences. His thoughts had fallen on Genma for all of a second outside his apartment but remained fixed on Sakura for every minute since._

" _Genma... I...", he stumbled helplessly._

" _No, I don't want to hear it. This isn't about you or your guilt for what you made me do", Genma snapped quickly, effectively cutting Kakashi off from his rambling, "this is about me, so cut the shit and listen."_

_Kakashi was, for once, without words or excuses and closed his mouth into a hard line, desperation inked in the depths of his dark eye._

" _I have no reason to be alive anymore, everything is pointless, I've been stripped of everything I ever cared about. Without her, everything tastes foul, nothing matters. She was my life, my love... My only love," he took a shaky breath, more from an excess of emotion than the bitter cold pervading every surface, "do you understand, Kakashi? Can you?"_

_The silver-haired man shuddered at his friend's words, feeling them sink to the deepest part of his soul and lodging there like a parasite. Could he ever hope to understand the horrific pain of losing someone that was within his reach? No, he couldn't, because all he had lost had been taken to a place that he would only reach at the end of his life. No woman had ever loved him, no woman ever would. He sighed and rubbed a frost-bitten glove down his face, trying to clear his mind and find an answer for the husk of a man beside him._

" _I can't understand the pain that I have caused you... But I can understand the pain I felt when I had to do it," he sucked in frozen air, "and I'm ashamed to admit that I felt more guilt for hurting Her than you... I thought you were impervious... I thought you were superficial... I was wrong."_

_Genma scoffed and kicked some dirt into the fire, no snow had fallen yet but the cold and the heavy clouds above spoke of it's impending arrival. The fire spluttered at the intrusion of the dirt and then continued to crackle under the weight of the chill. Genma stared into the flames as if the answer to life's mystery were writ in its flames and it glowed in his brown eyes, giving him the appearance of a man gone mad._

_One wouldn't think that the loss of love without death would cause such extreme measures to enter a shinobi's mind, but to a man that had lived several decades and only found love after many meaningless encounters, it was a sting worse than a kunai to the chest. It tore him apart to remember her and tore him apart not to. He refused to forget her and refused to forgive himself for succumbing to Kakashi's threats with such spineless ease._

_You fight for the one you love._

_If you love them let them go._

_Let them go._

_Fight._

_Let them._

_Fight._

_Let them fight._

" _Fight me." Genma said and stood from his spot on the unyielding ground, looking down at his destroyer and seeming for all the world like a man ready to die._

Xxx

_It was the time of day when all colour seemed to fade from the world save those of the faintest blue, the deepest orange and the blackest of black that hides nature's true face in elongated shadows; sunset._

_He found her in his living room, wrapped in one of his old shirts and reading a medical scroll, seeming to be completely at peace with the world. It was mid Summer and the leaves were brimming with life, no thought yet of relinquishing its hold to Autumn. He padded over to her, his feet making dull knocks against the hardwood floor. Seating himself next to her, he curled up close with his head resting lightly on her shoulder, peering at the scroll and trying to make sense of the medical jargon scrawled in black ink. He sighed when he realized that the words were as foreign as an alien language and focused instead on nuzzling her soft pink tresses._

_She sighed and reached a hand up to cup his cheek, while her eyes never left the scroll. It was a scene of total serenity and it was hard to believe that these people, this forbidden couple, were completely tainted in the reality of their actions and the pain that followed them. The tranquility of their coupling, represented by the soft glow of orange light, would be replaced by the haunting caress of the snowfall that Genma, in his decades of life, had never seen -nor would ever see- kissing Konoha ground._

_It was a moment in their affair that was not filled with ill-concealed guilt on Genma's part or inexplicable apathy on Sakura's part. It was a moment of pure happiness and joy, the likes of which neither had truly experienced with the other. Lust, passion and carnal expressions had taken up the majority of their affair up until that point and now, in the comfort, and slight discomfort, of the Summer heat, it signaled the beginning of feelings that neither were ready to admit but both were starting to feel._

_Untainted love of the dirtiest kind; forbidden._

XXX

_They stood on opposite sides of the camp's training ground, uneven patches of frosted grass stretching out between them. White clouds burst from their lips as adrenaline began to flood their veins, saturating the dull field into a sea of vibrant colours and rendering each movement into deliberate slow-motion._

_The first blow to meet flesh was a well-aimed strike to Kakashi's chest, tearing open his deep blue Jounin shirt and throwing him backwards into the hard ground. Genma exhaled in rapid pants, stood with his feet apart and contorted his face and posture into symbols of haunted determination. For once in his life, his battle plan involved suicide rather than homicide, only his objective was to have someone else do it for him - maybe it was cowardice, maybe it was fear or maybe it was a desperate need to die in battle, even if it was the civil kind._

_Whatever the reason, Genma knew that he would die in this forsaken field, far away from the place he called home, by the hands of the man that he had obeyed for misguided trust and ill-timed love. It was with this epiphany that acceptance leaked into his consciousness and with that acceptance came a deep-seated need to fight his hardest to die._

_The wars raged on - those of a physical nature and those of an emotional nature - and both men found themselves fighting for entirely different reasons. One fought for death, the other for life. Both felt the finality of the situation and only one knew he would win. So it was, with astounding grace, that Genma found himself in the midst of a demolished field with plumes of dust filling the air and blood trailing from his hairline. A crooked smile graced his features as he felt Kakashi's chakra moving rapidly towards him, he knew he had taken it too far when he'd shot several kunai at his reluctant opponent, knowing that Kakashi would take all of them out of guilt. What he hadn't expected, but appreciated greatly, was for Kakashi to start taking him seriously and attempt to knock him unconscious or immobilize him at every turn, aiming for his head and legs with every shot._

_Then, as the Copy-nin appeared several feet in the air with a crackling, electricity-laden fist, with the hopes of frightening his opponent and friend into surrender, Genma smiled brightly, a sparkle of tears filling his eyes at the feeling of pure joy. He stilled all movements and, just as Kakashi got too close to turn back-_

" _No!"_

_-he opened his arms and embraced the fist that plummeted through his chest and out the other side, a sickening crunch of bone and organ alike filling the air above the chirping Chidori. With his last vestiges of energy, he closed his arms around the ashen-faced Kakashi and pulled him closer. Then, with the complete assurance that he would not survive, dropped his arms and fell to the packed earth, feeling no pain at the impact._

_In his unmoving position on the ground, Genma looked up at the heavy sky and watched as the sun peeked through the tiniest of cracks in the line of defense and lit a path down to the earth some ways away from the clearing. Shivering, he realized that he was, indeed, going to die and the faintest of feelings thudded through him, as if his heart were still beating in his chest. With his lifeless eyes open to the heavy sky, the softest of white tears began to fall to the earth, as if Mother Nature were weeping for the loss of a man who spent his life believing he was worth little to everybody and especially to himself._

_The shinobi who stumbled upon the scene would tell people that what they saw in the field was horrific, not unlike anything they had seen in their lives but so much worse for the fact that one of their own had been killed by a friend. What was more disturbing was the sight of the silver-haired man kneeling by the feet of a corpse, staring with unseeing eyes at a subtle smile and open eyes as snow drifted in mourning around them, coating everything in a shawl of shimmering white._

_The blood-curdling scream that struck the air resounded through the camp and chilled every shinobi within earshot to the very core. It was a scream that spoke of unimaginable torture and soul-crushing guilt. Birds scattered from their perches, men stilled all actions to face the sound and the breeze, which had been stroking every surface, stilled, as if the world were holding its breath. The only movement was the soft flutter of pure snow falling sadly to the earth and landing in condolence on the face and shoulders of the Copy-nin as he faced the sky, with a question in his uncovered eyes and an accusation on his masked lips._

Xxx

Loss begets guilt and sometimes, in the world of love and adultery, guilt begets loss.

Snow had come to Konoha, a rare but not unwelcome occurrence that had sent people rushing out into the streets to get a taste of the glorious whiteness. Children threw their hands into the air, sending the snow into rivulets around them before floating to the ground and immediately disappearing. It was a slow progression but caused an overload of excitement nonetheless.

The villagers had heard that the snow would be coming from the border but had lost hope after several days, resigning themselves to the monotonous evergreen weather of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Only one man knew, with certainty, that the snow would come and that with it, it would bring the bitter memory of that foul, life-changing day to the forefront of his mind.

Kakashi walked slowly through the street, watching the people rejoicing in the snow. The flakes fell around him and, try as he might, he could not push the memory back and it hit him in full force. The sight of Genma's lifeblood staining his gloved hand pervaded his consciousness, the way it had dripped down his wrist, before dropping to the shattered ground. His footsteps increased and the Copy-nin almost bolted to his apartment, feeling his chest constrict in hyperventilation. It seemed almost poetic now that Sakura used to call him 'Snowflake'; poetic and sick and even a little prophetic.

After several extremely difficult discussions with the Hokage and her advisors, Kakashi was pardoned for his actions due to extenuating circumstances that were out of his control, but the shinobi knew that his reputation and abilities in the village were more important than anything. This didn't stop Tsunade from making him recount everything that had happened in excruciating detail, which allowed for her to understand exactly how suicidal Genma was and why. Needless to say, Tsunade found herself feeling a deep disappointment towards her apprentice and even a subtle unreasonable hatred in the place of her usual motherly concern.

He had been ordered to tell Sakura the news and it almost crushed him as he'd walked away from her, leaving her crumpled on the hospital floor. He had made the self-preserving choice not to tell her how he died or by who's hands and that was something he knew he would regret. Although, in a slightly sadistic way, he wanted to hurt her, wanted to send her into a spiral of guilt. It was sick but he couldn't help it, he blamed her for everything and tried, unsuccessfully, to shift the responsibility onto her for all that had happened.

The Copy-nin found himself outside his apartment in record time and bustled inside, feeling the need to crumble but resisting a little longer out of a lifelong curse of incurable pride. Sinking slowly to the floor against his front door, the Copy-nin placed his head in his hands and fought the onslaught of tears that threatened. It was unlike him to feel an excess of emotion, but considering the guilt he felt for what he had done, it was inevitable. And so, after fighting himself for too long, and in an act of uncharacteristic humanity, he let the tears fall, feeling both self-loathing and cathartic joy at the release of pent up grief.

The snow fell in harmony with his tears and he ripped his mask from his face, freeing himself from its constraints and feeling self-pity well up inside him like a dam straining against its confines.

Snowflakes would forever remind him of the day he'd killed his oldest friend.

Xxx

She sat at the cenotaph, the grass waving against her thighs and poking into her ankles, leaving impermanent scars that criss-crossed like barbed-wire. These fleeting marks were so unlike the numerous lacerations she had obtained in her years as a ninja and even less like the large wound that the name, newly-carved into the dark marble, had left on her soul.

It was inconceivable that a man, who had been a seemingly permanent fixture in the hidden village and - for the last few months - in her life, was now gone. His name now forever carved into the crowd of thousands of others; once a living, breathing soul and now reduced to a few kanji. The name glared at her like a flood-light in a pitch black room, blinding her with tears and silencing her with unsaid words.

Xxx

"You don't have to choose me," he said calmly, the black depths of his eyes betraying no emotion. He watched his wife as she performed the overly normal task of washing dishes. Her back was turned to him, but he could imagine, all too easily, the deep set of her eyebrows as she took in his words and the downwards pull of her mouth, marring her features.

This display of all-encompassing grief was ever-present in the days that had passed since her lover's death. It was coupled with the dullness of her usually vibrant eyes, which conveyed how deeply the event had scarred her.

"My choice was taken from me days ago," she said icily, never turning to face him as she continued the vigorous scrubbing of the pan in her hands.

"You always have a choice, Sakura," he rejoined, almost matter-of-factly, but restrained his need to sound like a lecturer.

"Not this time," she retorted despondently. He could never bring himself to tell her that he was sorry for Genma's death, he knew the words would reek of pity and insincerity. The only thing he felt sorry for was the empty space that his death had left in place of his wife.

"I'll only ask you one thing then; you don't have to choose me, but... choose life, Sakura," he almost pleaded. In the days that had passed, the Uchiha had come to the realization that he had lost his wife. In place of the small spark of hope that used to flicker in his mind was an abyss of chilling reality. He had lost his wife to a dead man.

She spun around fiercely, a vicious sneer on her lips and a coldness lining her eyes. soapy water dripped from her hands as she gesticulated.

"You want me to choose life, Sasuke?" She screamed, "How the hell am I supposed to choose _life_ when it's the one thing that was taken away from _him_?" Her voice was poison, seeping through his psyche and chilling the air as it burst from her lips.

"A shinobi's life is never guaranteed," he said, reigning in his shock at her outburst. Sakura had been little more than a walking corpse as of late, which made her reaction simultaneously refreshing and terrifying.

"No, it isn't, but you made damn sure that Genma's wasn't, didn't you? Apparently, he didn't deserve the option of choosing life. _You_ made that decision _for_ him!" She spat, the pent up rage of days passed tumbling from her like a burst dam. Sasuke reeled back in shock and apprehension.

"What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?" his voice increased slightly, his usual calm facade cracking under the weight of her fury.

"You know exactly what it means," she said viciously. The rage in her eyes was tinted with grief and it made them glow with the mixture. A small puddle of dirty water had pooled at her feet and small droplets darkened her white jersey.

"I don't know what you mea-" she cut him off abruptly, her next words stunning him into surprisingly involuntary silence.

"You think I didn't notice the electrical burns on his chest? I'm a _medic_ for fuck's sake!" She stepped towards him menacingly, but still maintained a suitale distance, "His heart was _gone,_ Sasuke! The hole in his chest was charred from an _electrical_ current!" She was now breathing heavily and trying to control the burn of tears at the corners of her eyes.

He could do little more than stand in the large entrance to the kitchen, his breathing calm but his heart beating with resounding _thuds_ in his ears.

"How dare you... You killed him, Sasuke."

Xxx

A/N: (This is long and you don't have to read it, but it explains a lot and I never get time to explain myself :D)

Oh! The _angst_!

Anyway, sorry for the long wait, my life has been insane as of late and I've had a hard time trying to get this new installment up, but I guess it's better late than never. I wrote a couple of these little scenes separately, some on my phone, some on my ipad, some on my laptop...etc. so a lot of them are basically just a whole bunch of different scenes. I guess by this point you guys that follow the story have realised that the whole style of this fic is disjointed and that it jumps backwards and forwards between times. I'm sorry if it's confusing but I liked the idea that you could get a glimpse of the past and present of every relationship/friendship. I made all of the past scenes/memories in _italics_ so that you could understand what was what.

As promised, many Genma flashbacks, some of them not so great, some of them fairly pointless to the unconscious eye but fairly important if you like to understand people and their feelings. I, for one, am _obsessed_ with the relationship between two people and the reasoning behind everything. I'm having a lot of time exploring how every character reacts to things. A lot of stuff may seem OOC to you guys (ie. Kakashi having a proper convo with Sasuke in the previous chapter...etc.) but they make sense to me. Sasuke also has to confide in someone. The way I figure it, relationships and time change people, so there's no use making Sasuke out to be the dumbass, angsty 16 year old that we all know.

As you may have noticed, I have a thing about the weather and the symbolism of it all. I tried my best to make sure that it all flowed, but because I wrote this in drips and drabs, you have to let me know when things are out.

I don't have a beta and I pieced this together on a laptop that has no Word or spellcheck, so forgive me if you find some really horrendous errors.

Well! I hope you're enjoying it so far, I know I'm in love with this story and I'm just as excited to see the ending as all of y'all and thanks to all the people that reviewed, it is greatly appreciated. As always, please R&R, let me know what you think (a lot of you are _very_ opinionated about what I make these characters do... o.O especially Sakura, but give her a break, it'll all fall together... I think.)

Peace,

Snow/Teine

 


	7. Trainwreck

**Judge Not**

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Naruto or any of its characters and make no profit from this fanfic. I do not own any of the songs/lyrics mentioned in this entire fic either.

A/N: This is rated M for a reason, so please, no children allowed and no sensitive readers :) This is unbeta-ed so please excuse any grammatical errors. (Longer A/N at the end)

XXX

**Chapter 7 : Trainwreck**

She gazed out at the snow falling peacefully on Konoha ground, kissing every surface with soft caresses and kind sighs. The chilly atmosphere between her and her husband was only accentuated by the cold that pervaded the compound. Sighing, she wrapped her coat tighter around her small but firm frame and ran a hand restlessly through her troubled pink locks. She had never, in her two and a bit decades of life, felt so lost and purposeless. Not even when she was a thoughtless youth, begging her childhood love to take her with him - thoughts of her duty to Konoha dulled in her desperation to feel needed by him. The Cherry Blossom wondered, now, if she had ruined everything she had worked so hard to gain; all in the name of unutterable words and an ill-timed love affair.

There was no doubt in her mind that she loved her paramour with every fiber of her being and that he had loved her too. It was only now that he was no longer beside her, whispering innuendos laced with kindness and running his hands sweetly down her sides, that she realized that she had lost someone who fit her perfectly. For all the times that she had thought of her love for Sasuke as unchangeable, she had a thousand times more where she realized it was not.

The love between them had altered in a way that neither had thought possible, until it had become something faceless, something finite - a force with limits that both had pushed. The days of unadulterated happiness and longing gazes had shifted into something akin to a faded memory and a septic gash. It was no longer and, the young destroyer knew, it would never be again.

Xxx

The nameless man pushed her roughly against the alley wall, raining sloppy, drunken kisses down on her alcohol-flushed skin. He pushed a leg inelegantly between her own and moved it back and forth in a desperate grind. The kunoichi had no idea of the man's name, his rank as civilian or shinobi, and she did not care. Her only hazed thoughts were of the void that was currently being filled by his aggression and the feelings that it brought. She moaned drunkenly as he ripped her dress hastily up her thighs and tugged her panties aside, exposing her to the chilled winter air. Within seconds, he had hoisted her up and wrapped her legs around his waist, and then he was inside her and both the nameless man and pink-haired adulterer groaned at the contact. He pounded into her ruthlessly, grinding her shoulders and back viciously against the redbrick wall of the alley. She breathed obscenities into his ear and gripped him tighter to her center, wishing he would envelope her and _hoping_ she could disappear in this nameless man.

The sounds of their actions filled the alley, but no one took notice nor cared. This was a soiled part of town, a place where the people were ashen and foul, where everyone treated their counterparts with unaffected scorn and rued the day they ever set foot in the godforsaken place. It was the deepest and darkest part of the Village Hidden in the Leaves - the place that all chose to ignore, including those that resided within it.

With a final desperate thrust, both parties exhaled in a flurry and the pink-haired woman open her mouth in a silent scream, feeling the man bursting inside her and her inner walls sucking him dry. For a moment, she made a mental-note to deal with the possible repercussions of this sordid and disgusting tryst and then pushed that thought away as the blurred tinting of inebriation clouded her mind once more.

She unraveled her legs from the man's waist and thrust her arms out to put space between them before yanking her panties and dress back into place. A few words were exchanged and then the woman stumbled away, already having forgotten what the man had said his name was and what he even looked like.

She stumbled lazily to the small apartment block where her Love used to live; her Love the man and her love the force. She dripped up the stairs and jimmied open the door, shutting it with a resounding and drunken thud before abandoning her heels and purse in the entrance, her dress in the hallway and her undergarments in the doorway of the bedroom - much like she had done many times before at the hands of her Love. With an emotionless groan, she landed on the bed that still smelled like Him and rolled onto her back, staring at the moon's festival of light and shadow being played out on the ceiling. She gazed at it with hazed eyes and even though she would not remember it in the morning, all she could see at that moment were kind eyes and a senbon-smile and shoulder length hair that she had run her hands through more times than she could count.

She was just waiting for him to come through the door saying "miss me, baby?" before capturing her lips as well as all her coherent thoughts. She almost sighed wistfully at the thought but with the pitiless memory of the man in the alley, the unfeeling woman replaced the faceless man with her Love and dreamt that _just_ for tonight she were lying with Him instead of being alone.

Xxx

She awoke with a headache that could trump the pain of childbirth and the taste of a man in her mouth - unpleasant and unfamiliar. With the shifting of her body came the all too familiar feeling of sex radiating from between her legs and the raw ache that came from her back. With slow movements, she sat up from the bed and gazed at her naked form unseeingly before reaching a tentative hand to her back and sending a weak stream of healing chakra into her skin. Although it took longer than usual, after fifteen minutes her back felt less raw but somehow more strained, but her headache had calmed.

She placed her feet on the hardwood floor that her Love used to walk on and headed for the bathroom that her Love used to shower in and washed herself clean of the night's events – events in which her Love used to partake. She pulled on the robe that she kept in his bathroom, a silken black garment that did little to warm her but used to excite her Love more than he ever let on.

Standing in the kitchen that her Love had once made love to her in, she made herself coffee and headed for the window in the lounge. Placing her steaming black coffee - without cinnamon, without sugar - on the windowsill, she pulled up a chair, retrieved her purse from the floor and extracted a cigarette from within its silvery confines. Pulling a small black lighter from the bag, she lit the tip of the cigarette and inhaled deeply, listening to the death-stick crackle. She took a long, ever-suffering drag and then blew it out in a steady stream of tainted white. The smoke filtered out of the open window and mixed with the light snow that had been relentless in the past few weeks.

The sky still mourned for the one that had been lost - so many weeks ago in that desolate camp - and it seemed, to the hungover young woman, that the weather mourned more desperately than she did. Felt more than she did - showed more emotion than she did. She sighed and flicked ash out the window, imagining that it would float restlessly to the ground below.

She knew better than to question the Hokage on His death, even if her mind had swirled with so many questions at first. Several days after his death and then her fight with Sasuke, she had resigned herself to the fact that her husband had killer her Love in a fit of blind rage and jealousy. The fact that he had not tried to correct her or deny it only served to solidify her assumption. She could only accept it and silently simmer in her rage.

It seemed a natural thing to pick up a bad habit after having lost someone of monumental consequence and so, in a display of unnatural normalcy, the kunoichi had bought a pack of cigarettes. Four weeks later coupled with five cigarettes a day and the woman found herself relying on the little tubes of cancer as if they would ensure that she found herself with her Love sooner than any deity had planned. It was a comfort that she reveled in but duly ignored - for that would be admitting emotion and _that_ was not something the Bloodied Cherry Blossom planned to do ever again. So she smoked her morning cigarette and then another, drinking coffee in intervals and watching the smoke wind its way around her, pervading her clothes with the sickly addictive smell of tobacco.

She flicked the second stub out the window and did not watch it fall to the snowy street as she had the first. She closed the window, placed the chair in its rightful place, washed her cup and replaced her robe with her dress. Checking to make sure that everything was as it should be, lest her Love get mad - not that he was the sort - she exited her home and made for the house she lived in.

Xxx

_"...and what would you do if I found another womanizing lady-killer to fill the position if I were to find you somewhat... lacking?" she asked as she straddled his hips and bent her head low, they met so near with their lips that their breaths embraced each other, her hair brushing his face lightly. He smirked into their almost-kiss and tried to catch her bottom lip fully with his teeth but she pulled away hastily and raked her hands down his chest, earning herself a strangled groan and a twitch against her naked bottom. She sat up fully and the man below her gazed up at the pink-haired goddess as if the entire world began and ended with her._

_"I would have to ensure that that never happened and as such keep you... fully occupied," he rejoined once he had found his voice and accentuated his words with a grind from his hips into her naked center. She almost gasped at the contact, dulled and heightened simultaneously by the white sheet separating them._

_Their haughty language amused and excited both parties as they stared at each other, controlling lust and emitting love with every falsely-true word. The woman laughed and threw her head back before returning her gaze to him, a determination burning in the emerald depths unlike any he had seen before._

_"...and what if you grow tired of me and pursue another who draws your eye?" she asked, half-amused and half-serious. She raised a shapely eyebrow and awaited an answer._

_"Don't be silly, if there were a woman better than you in this town, I would know," he said smugly and with the air of one who possessed nothing but confidence - however unstable that confidence was._

_"And how would you know that?" she asked, leaning forward once more, their breaths mingling and their mouths flirting._

_"Because I've probably slept with all of them," he retorted matter-of-factly. She laughed into his mouth and he smiled at the relief and satisfaction of not being subjected to one of her bouts of aggression at his teasing answer. He lifted a hand to her back and ran it down her side until it rested on her hip, his fingers digging into the taut skin._

_Finally, she claimed his lips in a kiss so brutally desperate he felt as if he were kissing someone else entirely. Then she pulled away and locked eyes before whispering menacingly and in a tone so frightening his breath hitched._

_"You're mine."_

Xxx

She sat in the main house like a guest, unwilling to get comfortable on any surface for fear that she might remember her place there, in the house that was not her home. She washed every cup and plate she used as if they had never been touched and straightened every couch or bed as if they had never felt the warmth of a body. She was a ghost; without substance, without grounding.

She had not seen Sasuke in the four weeks since she had accused him of murdering her Love and, in truth, she preferred it that way. She could not face him, lest she be forced to feel the loss that she had been avoiding.

She walked out onto the wrap-around porch and lit a cigarette, not caring that she had no idea if Sasuke would return to the house and see her, not caring about much at all anymore. She wondered about what she was doing and where she was going and all of life's questions that inevitably came to a person when they had a few minutes to think. She thought in circles and eventually came upon nothing of consequence, because all thoughts that were important led her to that which she ignored.

Stubbing out the cigarette, she dressed in her Jounin outfit and headed for Hokage Tower to request a mission that would guide her closer into death's embrace.

Xxx

To say that Kakashi had been shocked when the Hokage had requested his presence in her office and handed him the blood-red scroll, which he now held in a loose fist, would be an understatement. He hadn't received a mission of this nature in several years - since his time in ANBU.

He stared unblinkingly at the Godaime as she rifled through several papers on her desk, pointedly ignoring the baffled Copy-nin as she huffed out a sigh of frustration at having misplaced a certain document that was required for the kind of mission that she had given the man.

Finally finding the paper, she had been searching for she thrust it across the desk unceremoniously and tossed a pen on top of it. When the silver-haired man did not respond she glanced up and raised an eyebrow at him in a silent question. The Copy-nin sighed resignedly and stepped forward, remembering all too well what the document meant and what he had to do. Leaning over the desk, the man placed the scroll gingerly on the desk before reaching for the pen and scrawling his initials in the required spaces. He didn't bother reading the fine print, he knew what it said by heart, even after all these years.

'In the likely event of my capture and probable torture, I, (insert name here), swear by Konohagakure and the name of the Godaime Hokage, Tsunade, to resist all forms of persuasion and attempts at information extraction. If I, (insert name here), fail to uphold this promise, and in doing so endanger the livelihood of Konohagakure and all its inhabitants, I, (insert name here), accept the consequences of punishment and torture, possible stripping of titles and/or punishment by death.'

And so it went on for the rest of the page. It was the same as it always had been, and the mind-numbing task of filling in his name no less than twelve times throughout the document made his left eyebrow twitch with annoyance at the redundancy. One would think that the leader and council members of the village he had served since the tender age of five would know where his loyalties lay. Apart from that, the sheer number of S-rank missions he had completed in his thirty-seven years of life without a single incident of letting information slip, should have helped to quell the incessant need for written proof. Nevertheless, the Jounin sighed as he filled the twelfth line and slid the page back to Tsunade, who was watching him with growing annoyance. It was a mystery why she was so obviously annoyed with him, but he cared very little and didn't wish to enquire.

After the meeting with the Hokage and the Elders, Kakashi had resorted to picking up several B and A-rank missions from the Jounin Headquarters and had been tensely grateful for the fact that the busty woman had not called him in at any point since that time. It appeared that his gracefulness was short-lived, however, when the frightened Chuunin had shown up at his door at the ungodly hour of five in the morning to relay the message that he had been summoned. Naturally, he had show up no less than three hours late.

He supposed the Godaime's annoyance could have been attributed to his tardiness, but somehow the Jounin doubted that she had not grown accustomed to it in her ten years as Hokage. He stepped back and regarded her with his usual, lazy, one-eyed stare. Few words had been exchanged since he entered the office, but that was only slightly strange for the man, as he preferred silence over the usual talkative behaviour that most people found themselves possessed by in his presence.

They simply gazed at each other for a few moments before Kakashi spoke.

"Will that be all Hokage-sama? I'd like to begin packing for the mission and leave as soon as possible," he said calmly, his voice betraying none of the apprehension he was feeling at her knowing glare. He inclined his head a fraction to the left, not wanting to irritate her further by seeming impatient, but feeling rebellious enough to make it subtly known. The blonde sighed and shot him a baleful glare before shaking her head.

"You may not leave this office until both of you have been briefed," she said impatiently.

"Excuse me?" Kakashi asked incredulously, attempting to maintain his composure. He was not expecting, nor did he appreciate, having a partner on this mission. In his experience, red scrolls always meant going solo. For the purpose of being thorough and stealthy, having more than one man could mean the difference between life and death. A partner also meant the added responsibility of ensuring the safe return of another. This was not something that Kakashi enjoyed. He had enough evidence as of late to prove that he was incapable of saving people or preventing their deaths – as he was often the cause and not the solution.

"You heard me, Hatake; we have to wait for you mission partner," the Godaime said with growing irritation. She was displeased enough as it was that the council had accepted this mission and the shinobi assigned, she did not need the Copy-nin's arrogance and obvious impatience on top of that.

"All due respect Hokage-sama, but I think-"

"Save it. I don't care what you think, you're not paid to _think_ , you're paid to take the missions that are assigned to you, complete them and do it with a fucking smile and a 'thank you'." The woman almost growled from the anger that was coursing through her. Hatake Kakashi was the last person she wanted to see this morning, especially after the events of several weeks ago, and now his blatant dismissal of her orders was making her see red. He didn't understand the reluctance with which she was handing out this mission, he didn't understand that it made her sick to her stomach to have to send him of all people on it.

"Yes Hokage-sama," he replied mutely and with a curt nod. Kakashi was slightly taken aback at the sudden outburst but he schooled his expression into one knew all too well: obedience.

In ANBU, obedience had been drilled into the brains and mannerisms of each and every member, teaching them that any emotion reaction whatsoever was unacceptable. More than once over his career in the Assassination Unit, he had been grateful for these teachings as it ensured that, when he sliced the throat of a Daimyo's unsuspecting and adulterous wife, he felt nothing. It brought no feeling of remorse as he had watched the light drain from his many victims' eyes and the silent mantra of 'Duty before honour; country before self" had replayed itself through his mind like the constant and even beat of his heart.

A sudden rap on the thick wooden door brought him out of his reverie and the Godaime yelled for the person to enter while sitting back in her leather chair, eyeing Kakashi with an ill-concealed warning that he did not yet understand. The door swung open and then shut abruptly as the new arrival stepped further into the room. Kakashi had not yet turned around to acknowledge the person, but nothing could stop him from recognizing her chakra - it was too familiar; like the smell of lingering rain after a Fire Country storm.

He inhaled sharply but imperceptibly and his shoulders tensed at the realization of who his partner would be. He had not seen Sakura since he had left her on the cold tiles of the hospital floor all those weeks ago after telling her that He was dead. Gone. Never coming back.

He did not turn to greet her, seemingly not even noticing she was there, and he felt her now-cold eyes resting on the left side of his face, through his hitai-ate and the fabric of his mask. She couldn't see any part of his face but they had been best friends long enough for her to recognize the tell-tale signs of his discomfort. He almost sighed at the thought; he hated people being able to read him, it went against the barrier he had tried to so hard to construct.

There was also the aspect of his dread. Dread that she knew what he had done, dread that she didn't - and expected some form of comfort from him - and dread that he had to go on a mission with the one person he blamed, other than himself, for the untimely death of his oldest friend.

She had rocked the very foundation of his comrade's life and blown it all to hell with her selfishness and unnerving ability to make men love her. Once upon a time, Kakashi was one of those men, but now the dread and guilt overpowered everything else.

"Tsunade-shishou," Sakura said quietly before bowing slightly and then continuing, "the clerk down at the Jounin HQ said my presence was requested here, may I ask what for?" Her gaze flickered abruptly to Kakashi and then back to her mentor.

"There's a mission for you and Kakashi. He has the details in that scroll," she gestured to the red scroll in Kakashi's hand, "I'll brief you as much as I can but the purpose of the mission is infiltration and reconnaissance and so I can't tell you much."

The Godaime sighed and rested her chin on her interlaced fingers. Kakashi shifted his weight from one foot to the other and watched her expectantly, waiting for her to continue.

"As you should know from your years at the Academy, a red scroll signifies an unranked mission. This means that we do not yet have enough information to determine whether it is deserving of an A or S rank. What we do know is that there is a new faction of missing-nin and mercenaries who have established themselves on the border of Mist," Tsunade sighed again before continuing, practically ignoring the two shinobi in front of her. "It's a long journey and will probably take up to two weeks just to reach the destination. The problem is; we've received word that the leader of this group has been experimenting with body switch techniques. This wouldn't be a problem if he wasn't sacrificing children in the process. We have no idea what he's hoping to accomplish with this but it is apparent that something needs to be done."

Kakashi listened intently and didn't dare interrupt, already formulating ideas of how to go about this mission. In his opinion, having a partner wasn't necessary, but his words would remain firmly in his throat, especially after the Hogake's outburst. He wondered why the Yamanaka girl wasn't selected to be his partner, with her knowledge of mind-control and body switching (albeit as an interrogation technique). He received his answer with the Hokage's next words.

"Sakura, am I correct in saying that you received special training upon your promotion to Jounin?" The Hokage asked, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow at her apprentice. The Cherry Blossom shifted slightly and then nodded, knowing exactly what 'special training' her shishou meant. Kakashi almost gulped, realization dawning that his best friend had lost her innocence far sooner than he'd ever thought. She hadn't been a Chuunin for over seven years, having been promoted to Jounin at age sixteen.

Which meant that she'd had seduction training after starting her apprenticeship with Tsunade. That thought didn't sit well with the Copy-nin, even though he was no stranger to the art of seduction and the many dark secrets the shinobi underworld possessed. Kakashi wondered which Jounin was responsible for her training, as it was evident that it wasn't the Hokage herself. The Hatake knew that Sakura would have had to have a female instructor for the majority of her course and then a male instructor to whom she would demonstrate her capabilities.

"Kurenai-sensei was my special trainer and Ibiki-san took up the position of being my male instructor, upon whom I demonstrated my abilities and received final training in perfecting my... techniques," the slight pause at the end was the only indication that Sakura was uncomfortable relaying this information in front of Kakashi, other than that her speech was cold and to-the-point. Kakashi flinched at hearing the interrogator's name – Ibiki was a cruel and gruff man, who, while he did possess extraordinary skills in interrogation and as a shinobi in general, would never be gentle when training a budding seductress.

"Very well, then I am more than confident that your abilities are above par for this mission," the Hokage stated, her voice betraying none of the concern that she felt bubbling in her chest as she slid a scroll across to Sakura and motioned to to fill in her name in the spaces, "I'll leave it up to you two to decide when to leave, dismissed." The Hokage's tone spoke of finality and neither the Copy-nin nor the Cherry Blossom thought to question the mission any further.

They exited Hokage Tower in silence and then stopped on the steps. Kakashi shifted uncomfortably but forced detachment into his voice as he told her to meet at the gates at dusk. The kunoichi simply nodded and then disappeared in a flurry of cherry blossoms – something that she had picked up from years of being the Copy-nin's best friend.

XXX

After two months of infiltration and recon, Kakashi was starting to get antsy. He was sick of the shit-hole headquarters he had to stay in to keep up his guise of Kuujo's 'muscle' and he was especially sick of having to hear Sakura's grating too-high voice constantly stroking the leader's ego. She had kept up a simple henge in the time that they were there and the changes to her body and voiced annoyed the Copy-nin more and more each day. In place of her vibrant green eyes were an unremarkable deep blue pair, dark brown waist-length hair replaced her shimmering pink locks and worst of all, her usually sensuous tone had become a cooing, girlish lilt that raked up and down his spine every time she spoke. To put it bluntly, he wanted to get the _fuck_ out of dodge and back to his worthless life as a dog of Konoha.

His own henge made him into a thug with one hazel eye, no mask, unruly dusty blonde hair similar in style to his own and an eye-patch over his Sharingan – with a story of how he lost his eye to some shinobi _scum_ in the last war. He blended into the group of ragtag mercs easily. He also noted how Sakura took up the role of Harlot a little _too_ well – with her grabby hands and swiveling hips and high, keening laughter whenever the leader said something remotely humorous. After the first time he had to watch her seduce her way into Kuujo's good graces, all doubts - of exactly _why_ men seemed to fall all over themselves to get to her - were erased. She was a natural and it disgusted him to think that she had used these tricks on Genma after having them taught to her by someone like Ibiki. It seemed to the Copy-nin that she was tainted way before she had pushed her claws into his oldest friend. The now dusty blonde sighed, thinking of her with such vitriol was exhausting and didn't entirely wipe out all his memories of all the good times they had shared before she went bat-shit crazy and ruined her marriage and a perfectly innocent man like Genma. Ok, maybe he wasn't _perfectly_ innocent but he had deserved far more than falling in love with someone who drove him to assisted suicide – he _refused_ to think of it as homicide, his sanity couldn't handle another responsibility like that.

The similarities between Rin and Genma's deaths were too much for the weary man to bear, which is why he couldn't think about it in any way - other than to place the blame on Sakura. He had far more blood on his hands than he cared to think about and the fact that some of that blood belonged to one of his _comrades_ sickened him to insomnia and dark thoughts that involved a fate similar the his father's. He knew, however, that that wasn't an option for him, no matter how much he fantasized about tying a noose, slitting his wrists, taking a bath with a toaster or lowering his guard on an S-rank mission. He made a promise to a mad man and he intended to keep that promise until his life was taken from him.

Running his hand wearily down his mask-less face, he flipped his legs over the edge of the hard bed he had been sleeping in for the better part of five weeks. After a fortnight of traveling to the border of Mist, followed by a week of intelligence gathering and scouting out the leader's movements, preferences and other general information that they required, the two Konoha nin found themselves firmly ensconced in the headquarters of "Konton" or _Chaos_ as they liked to refer to themselves. It was all a bit melodramatic for the preternaturally aloof shinobi. They had entered under their disguises and claimed to be cousins who were looking for work and didn't care about alliances or any political fidelity as long as they got paid. Sakura had immediately shown her interest in Kuujo by giving him sly glances beneath dark lashes and pushing her henge enhanced chest forward, almost causing her breasts to burst from her tight, blue, wrap around half-yukata. Kuujo, being a testosterone fueled male with delusions of grandeur, had eyed her appreciatively before stating that, after a display of their abilities, he would decide whether they were useful to him or not.

Fortunately for the Copy-nin, he was in no danger of disappointing the leader and displayed just enough strength to be accepted, but not enough to come across as a threat. Sakura, on the other hand, had shown some incredible proficiency in hand-to-hand combat, but Kuujo had rather wanted to see her abilities while on her knees in front of him. Kakashi – _Tanaka_ \- had tried to protest, but Sakura – or _Hana_ – had waved a dismissive hand at him and proceeded to follow Kuujo into his private quarters. The Copy-nin could only stare in disbelief at the back of her now-brown head before he was shoved forward by two of Kuujo's personal guards, physically telling him to follow the leader. The henge'd man had sighed and walked forward and into the large private quarters, surveying the room with distaste as he took in the massive bed on the right and a small lounge area on the left. It wasn't overly decorated but radiated a sense of superiority that only the leader of a rogue faction could produce.

Seated in one of the over-stuffed sofas, Kuujo had placed himself directly in the center with his arms spread out on the back of the deep-green couch. Sakura had been seated next to him, her body pressed closely to his side, running a hand down his well-muscled torso as if she had every right to be touching him. She was cooing in his ear and running her foot up and down his outstretched leg. Kakashi felt ill watching her whore herself out to the man who abused children for some sick plot at eternal life. It was like Orochimaru all over again. The Copy-nin had stood rooted to the spot, awkwardly fidgeting and not knowing what to do with himself.

"Well? Are you just going to stand there like a scarecrow or will you show an ounce of politeness and sit down?" The leader had asked, his deep brown eyes flashing dangerously at his new employee while a smirk played on his lips. The Copy-nin had moved forward robotically and seated himself in one of the single-seater couches in front of Kuujo and Sakura. He had placed his hands on his knees, sitting with his back rigid and an obvious scowl of discomfort etched into his exposed face. Sakura had then traced her right hand down the length of Kuujo's body until it met his groin. She had cupped him through the fabric of his pants and the man had groaned in appreciation. Kakashi's eyes snapped to Sakura to see her looking at him almost balefully with a smirk on her face. She had enjoyed the control she had over the leader and she had wanted Kakashi to see that. The Sharingan wielder had narrowed his eyes at her, silently commanding her to stop her actions – that they had other ways of getting closer to Kuujo. She had merely smirked and proceeded to grind her palm against the dark-haired man's growing hardness.

Kuujo had then grabbed her forearm roughly and Sakura's actions had immediately stilled. The Copy-nin tensed, preparing himself to step in, but his actions weren't needed as Kuujo then pulled Sakura roughly into the space between his legs, indicating without words what he was after. Kakashi couldn't see her face but he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she was looking up at Kuujo flirtatiously as she freed his manhood from the confines of his pants. For a moment Kakashi had been glad that he couldn't see her face or the way she licked the head of the man's erection, but all gratefulness was wiped clean from his mind as Kuujo locked eyes with him and smirked maliciously, obviously enjoying the discomfort radiating from the new arrival. The leader's eyes had then slipped closed and his head tilted back as Sakura took him completely into the warm cavern of her mouth and proceeded to bob her head rhythmically up and down his shaft, her hand working in time with the motion.

Kuujo instinctively bucked his hips slightly when the Cherry Blossom used her other hand to cup the sacs beneath his shaft and Kakashi could have sworn he _heard_ her smirk around the large phallus in her mouth. Seeing his former student, teammate, mission partner and best friend on her knees before a criminal had his blood boiling – not in anger towards Kuujo, because that behaviour was _expected_ from his sort, but towards the woman on her knees, who was better than that but had decided to debase herself even more than her recent indiscretions already had. He had controlled his expressions as Sakura had continued to work Kuujo into a near-frenzy, hoping beyond hope that it would be over soon and he could continue with the _actual_ mission of gathering as much information as possible on Konton.

He had known that Sakura was selected to perform such duties, due to her 'special training' but he never thought he would be subjected to watching her as she did it. As it stood, he was less than pleased at how disgusted he felt about the whole situation and how drastically his opinion of his best friend had changed in recent months. That had been an all-time low for her and he hadn't wanted to hear her justifications of how it was 'the only way' once she was done sucking the other man dry and they were in their new quarters.

Now, five weeks since that first meeting and Kakashi no longer shared a room with Sakura, the other bed in the tiny room having been empty for four and a half weeks. It had only taken three days for her to swivel her way into Kuujo's bed and when she had, Kakashi had the unfortunate honour of being on guard duty _inside_ Kuujo's quarters for the first act. The dark-haired man had placed him there not only so he could torture him by making him watch his 'cousin' being pounded into, but also so he could keep a watchful eye on the new recruit. Kakashi had watched as 'Hana' was led into the room by Kuujo and then averted his eyes as the man then commanded her to disrobe in front of him as he sat at the foot of the bed. He heard the rogue growl in appreciation as, he guessed, Sakura appeared fully nude before him, her henge adding curves where there never used to be and plumping up certain features that never used to be quite so _full_. While still keeping his eyes averted, the Copy-nin had heard all the dirty words that Kuujo had growled at his partner as he penetrated her, heard her high-keening moan as he thrust into her mercilessly and finally, _finally_ , the tell-tale breathless scream that tumbled from her kiss-swollen lips as she climaxed. Kakashi had hoped, _prayed_ , that it would be over and he could carry on his ruse of bodyguard without having to witness this scene again, but the gods were not with him that day and Kuujo had simply turned the woman over and pumped into her from behind. This earned him a new set of feminine moans and panting breaths from the woman below him. The leader had growled as he pounded into her, the sound of flesh meeting flesh filling the room and the smell of sex and sweat invading the Copy-nin's sensitive nose.

"Yes! God Yes!" The harlot had screamed over and over until Kuujo pushed her upper body down towards to bed, muffling her cries and arching her back so that the angle of the position changed, making both parties groan in pleasure. Kuujo had then been ruthless as he grabbed her hips in a bruising grip and entered her again and again – to the delighted screams of the woman below him.

Kakashi could barely take it, his fists clenched tightly at his sides and his jawed locked tightly to avoid growling in rage. The guard next to him seemed to know the drill and had a far-off look in his eye as he stared forward toward the only bookshelf in the room. Obviously, this was a regular occurrence for his employer and the novelty had worn of a while ago because the other man could have been thinking about what he would have for dinner out of the shitty selection of gray food they were served three times a day. Sakura's too-high cry of 'fuck yes! Just like that!' cut through his thoughts and reminded him of his rage, which caused him to tighten his fists even more and bite the inside of his cheek so hard he tasted blood on his tongue. Kuujo then groaned low and long as he emptied himself into his new toy, giving a few shallow and un-timed thrusts to go with the spurts of his seed.

The two had then flopped down into boneless heaps on the sweat and fluid soaked mattress, where Kuujo then pulled himself out of her and rolled onto his side of the bed, his head cushioned against the headboard. Kakashi had chanced a glance at the man and then promptly wished he hadn't. His best friend was draped over the man's chest, panting lightly and running her hand over the fine hairs on his chest, her leg thrown over his left thigh, exposing her thoroughly abused nether regions and the liquid evidence of their actions which were seeping down her thighs. Worse than that, was Kuujo, who had no shame in lying completely naked before two of his thugs, his now-flaccid shaft exposed for everyone to see and a smirk on his face directed solely at Kakashi. If the Copy-nin had any doubts that the well-muscled rogue was a sadist before, they were permanently wiped from his mind. The shinobi had simply frowned and then forced his eyes forward, towards the bookshelf, as he heard the breathing of both parties even out – finally succumbing to sleep.

This was his waking nightmare – the one scene that would never leave his mind as long as he was living – and it scared him half to death to think that Sakura slipped into the rogue life with such ease and devilish intent… that she might just be enjoying herself.

XXX

A/N: Ok, so firstly, I am SO SORRY for the long wait. I just recently finished my last year of high school and I've been so busy that even when I had a bit of time to myself I used it to sleep. I thought about this story EVERYDAY, seriously, when I got into bed at night I would start thinking about where I should take this fic – deeper into the darkness or on the path of healing and self-actualization. As you can see after reading this chapter… I chose the former.

I actually wrote the first half of this chapter a few months ago and then decided that since I'm on holiday I should push it towards completion. So today I sat down and just _wrote_ – and now I have a migraine and it's 1:31am. But I'm just happy to finally have it done.

I'm really sorry for any errors you find, I haven't proof read yet – as I said I just wanted to update! I'll do all that editing once I've had some sleep.

Anyway! Let me know what you think with the direction it's going and I'm sorry if things got a bit graphic there but Sakura isn't exactly pure and virginal – as this entire story is basically about how she ruins her own and other lives by using sex as a weapon. Also sorry if she seems OOC but I figure people change and I just like showing the darker side of someone's personality.

Ok, one last thing! And this is a SPOILER for people who haven't gotten to the point in the manga where you learn about what happened to Obito so STOP READING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW and then you can resume reading after the next two paragraphs!

[[I wrote Genma's death scene BEFORE I read the manga and saw how Rin died… so imagine my surprise when a couple weeks ago I was catching up on what I missed and there I see Rin with Kakashi's hand through her chest? I was like "whaaaaaaat".

Anyway, it actually worked kind of great for me because it gives me material to add to the torment Kakashi goes through and the nightmares that ensue from having killed two friends the same way (not that I know the circumstances of Rin's death… but I have my theories, none of which makes Kakashi out to be a friend-murderer :P). ]]

Anyway! I'm so happy to be back and once this story is done with I'm going to be getting back to _Your Choice_ where Kakashi and Sakura are married and awesome and Sasuke is a dick.

Please review if you have the time, I love to know your reactions to what's happening!

Peace,

Snow.


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